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change is more benefical to people that trying to avoid change and have everything remain the same

change is more benefical to people that trying to avoid change and have everything remain the same NmdJb
It is important to consider the impact of a change in one’s life. when you do not risk everything left the same. changes are always considered to risk, Probability of that change was useful for you is less sometimes. To begin with, changes give you a chance for success. stay at same level all time it’s mean stop life, stop growing and developing. change is more beneficial, Although we all known that chance to get succeeded is only 50% but with lose you can learn something new. We all learn from mistakes. moreover, all famous people: Businessmen, action, scientists and Inventors. All of them take risks in order to be successful. we never find out how the world is arranged without risk, ones can not swim without jumping in the water. we can not walk without falling. To sum up, life is one big risk. without risking we can not develop. so change is more beneficial to people who trying to avoid change.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the impact of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in one’s life.
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when
you do not
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risk
everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the same.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
changes
are always considered to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
, Probability of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
was useful for you is less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
give you a chance for success.
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stay
at same level all time it’s mean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
growing and developing.
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change
is more beneficial, Although we all known that chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
succeeded is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
50%
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but
with lose you can learn something new. We all learn from mistakes.

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moreover
, all
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famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
: Businessmen, action, scientists and Inventors. All of them take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
in order to be successful.
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we
never find out how the world
is arranged
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
, ones can not swim without jumping in the water.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
can not walk without falling.

To sum up, life is one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
without
The comma is probably missing here: "risking, we".
risking we
can not develop.
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so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is more beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who trying to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
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IELTS essay change is more benefical to people that trying to avoid change and have everything remain the same

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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