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CFC emissions which are released into the atmosphere

CFC emissions which are released into the atmosphere yLg5V
The line paragraph describe the picture of CFC emissions which are released into the atmosphere in four countries during the twelve-years period. There were a significant changes between Poland and Ukraine. Both of these countries had the highest amount of CFC emissions with 5000 metric tons and around 4700 metric tons in 1989. Poland on the contrary maintain to go down steadily. Meanwhile, Ukraine drops drastically berween 1989 and 1995, it later rise slowly in 1995 up to 2001. On the other hand, Malaysia and Egypt are in different level than both Poland and Ukraine in 1989. Malaysia remain stable throughout the year until iags with a great quontty of emissions incuding obout 3300 metric tons, Surprisingly it started to fall in the next couple of years and drop to 2000 metric tons. However egypt falls persistenly and meet Ukraine in the year of 2001 with about 1200 metric tons. In conciusion, although Poland carry the first lead of CFC emission in 1989, certainly it had became the lowest total of emissions overall than the other three countries in 2001.
The line paragraph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the picture of CFC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
which
are released


into the atmosphere in four countries during the twelve-years period.

There were a significant
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "change"?
changes
between Poland and Ukraine. Both of

these countries had the highest amount of CFC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
with 5000 metric

tons and around 4700 metric tons in 1989. Poland
on the contrary
maintain

to go down
steadily
. Meanwhile, Ukraine drops
drastically
Possible spelling mistake found.
berween
1989 and

1995, it later
Did you mean "rises"?
rise
slowly
in 1995 up to 2001.

On the other hand
, Malaysia and Egypt are in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
level than both

Poland and Ukraine in 1989. Malaysia remain stable throughout the year

until
Possible spelling mistake found.
iags
with a great
Possible spelling mistake found.
quontty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
Possible spelling mistake found.
incuding
Possible spelling mistake found.
obout
3300 metric tons,

Surprisingly
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to fall in the
next
couple of years and drop to 2000 metric

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
tons
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Possible spelling mistake found.
egypt
falls
Possible spelling mistake found.
persistenly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
Ukraine in the year of 2001 with about 1200 metric tons.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conciusion
, although Poland carry the
first
lead of CFC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
in 1989,

certainly
it had
Use past participle here: "become".
became
the lowest total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
Use "(overall)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
overall
than the other

three countries in 2001.

IELTS essay CFC emissions which are released into the atmosphere

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
180 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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