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Certain kinds of music promote learning in their life. Do you agree or disagree?

Certain kinds of music promote learning in their life. 0A5Dn
In today’s stressful and depressing lifestyle, music has become a source of happiness and entertainment. Although, some people enjoy music, while others do not have time to listen to music. In my opinion, music is necessary for life due to following reasons. Starting with, music is an excellent way to improve your memory skill and concentration. Music gives great relaxation to the mind and works as a stress buster. Playing a musical instrument like keyboard and guitar will help the enhancement of skills. Moreover, listening to music changes your mood and makes you happy. In addition, few people make playing music their profession and earn lots of money. Apart from this, some singers and musicians work in groups or teams and hence, learns the skills of a group or team management. Finally, when children are introduced to music as a subject at a young age, they develop a more positive attitude towards life and enjoy their learning phase. This optimistic view of theirs helps them in becoming more calm and relaxed individuals in the later stages of their life. Later on, when they have to face the competitiveness of life, they stay peaceful with the help of music. Based on the above discussion, we can conclude that learning different kinds of music not only promotes learning but also a safe future in the field of music.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s stressful and depressing lifestyle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has become a source of happiness and entertainment. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, while others do not have time to listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
due to following reasons.

Starting with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an excellent way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your memory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and concentration.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
gives great relaxation to the mind and works as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster. Playing a musical instrument like keyboard and guitar will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the enhancement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Moreover
, listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
your mood and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you happy.

In addition
, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
their profession and earn lots of money. Apart from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
singers and musicians work in groups or teams and
hence
, learns the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of a group or team management.
Finally
, when children
are introduced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as a subject at a young age, they develop a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and enjoy their learning phase. This optimistic view of theirs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in becoming more calm and relaxed individuals in the later stages of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Later on, when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face the competitiveness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they stay peaceful with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of music.

Based on the above discussion, we can conclude that learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
promotes learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a safe future in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
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IELTS essay Certain kinds of music promote learning in their life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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