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certain individuals that one of the best ways to bring people together irrespective of their cultures and age groups is music.

certain individuals that one of the best ways to bring people together irrespective of their cultures and age groups is music. xOpAg
It is believed by certain individuals that one of the best ways to bring people together irrespective of their cultures and age groups is music. I completely agree with the fact that music is a great medium which can make people think as they are one in spite of diverse cultures and different ages. The essay would shed light on the valid standpoints in the subsequent paragraphs. There are multiple reasons behind music unifying people of various cultures and ages. Although music of different nations is in their national language, but still if the rhythm and music used is very good then these songs attract people from world, and they listen to them even if they are not understanding one word of that song. This shows us that how a good music can unite people from various nations. In recent times not only, music unites people from different cultures but also from various age groups. With the technology advancement, old people are also trying to update them accordingly and, they are also using different music applications and enjoying music of different types. For example, a Chinese application named Tik Tok has variety of sounds and lyrics in different languages, but a lot of crowd whether old or young can be found easily over there and, they are making videos on that sounds without even understanding the lyrics of that music. To conclude, music proved to be one of the best approach to bring everyone together.
It
is believed
by certain individuals that one of the best ways to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together irrespective of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. I completely
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a great medium which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
as they are one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. The essay would shed light on the valid standpoints in the subsequent paragraphs.

There are multiple reasons behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
unifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nations is in their national language,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
if the rhythm and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
then these songs attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from world, and they listen to them even if they
The verb 'understanding' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are not understanding
one word of that song. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us that how a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various nations. In recent times not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
unites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups. With the technology advancement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
trying to update them
accordingly
and, they are
also
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
applications and enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types.
For example
, a Chinese application named
Did you mean "TikTok" (= social networking app)?
Tik Tok
has variety of sounds and lyrics in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
languages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible agreement error. The noun crowd seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of crowds".
a lot of crowd
whether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or young can
be found
easily
over there and, they are making videos on that sounds without even understanding the lyrics of that music.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
proved to be one of the best approach to bring everyone together.
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IELTS essay certain individuals that one of the best ways to bring people together irrespective of their cultures and age groups is music.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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