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Modern cultures around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development? v.3

Modern cultures around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 3
World has certainly become a global village, in the recent past. Similarities in the cultures across the globe are evident, which were not existing in the past and these common traits in modern cultures are the outcome of two main factors. The essay will discuss these two main factors contributing to this trend and why this development appears to be positive. Globalization, perhaps, is the major cause of this cultural fusion. Immigration laws now are lenient than they were ever before, and this allows masses to relocate to countries with different customs and cultural backgrounds. To adapt to new home and neibhorhood, immigrant families tend to learn local culture and un-intentionally mixes some of the features of their own culture from home country, in newly learned culture. Such developments on a larger scale, hybrids the culture and local rituals of a place. Second reason for this cultural mix appears to be an intentional move by some of the nations which rely heavily on their tourism business. Countries such a Thailand, where a major part of GDP comes from tourism industry has intentionally modified the look and feel of their local folklore by adding some of the trends from west. This move is to attract tourists from western countries and boost the economy as a result. These recently added similarities in the modern cultures appear to be a ' value add' in a number of ways. First and foremost is the ' Ease of doing business' cultural fusion brings with itself. Ability to understand other cultures attracts investors to do business overseas which in turn creates work opportunities for the locals. Thailand, for instance, has recently added a western dance form ' Salsa' into list of regional dances which has motivated a lot of Salsa Learning Academies to set up their offices in Thailand and this development has resulted in an upsurge in the number of jobs in Music and dance industry of the country. Another positive could be the feel of connection with homeland that travellers and immigrants get in a mixed culture, which allows them to enjoy some home-like traditions in the culture of host country. In conclusion, it can be summarized that globalization and intentional moves by states to prosper the local economy are the prime reasons why modern cultures look similar as compared to the past. A number of supporting factors including increasing business opportunities and emotional connections that these modern cultures provide, makes cultural fusion a positively impacting development.
World has
certainly
become a global village, in the recent past. Similarities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
across the globe are evident, which were not existing in the past and these common traits in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
are the outcome of two main factors. The essay will discuss these two main factors contributing to this trend and why this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
appears to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

Globalization, perhaps, is the major cause of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
fusion. Immigration laws
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are
Use "(lenient)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
lenient
than they were ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
masses to relocate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
backgrounds. To adapt to new home and
Possible spelling mistake found.
neibhorhood
, immigrant families tend to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and un-
intentionally
mixes
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
features of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
from home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, in
newly
learned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
on a larger scale, hybrids the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
rituals of a place. Second reason for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
mix appears to be an intentional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
by
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
nations which rely
heavily
on their tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
such a Thailand, where a major part of GDP
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from tourism industry has
intentionally
modified the look and feel of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
folklore by adding
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
trends from west. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
is to attract tourists from western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and boost the economy
as a result
.

These recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
similarities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
appear to be a ' value
Possible spelling mistake found.
add&
#039; in a number of ways.
First
and foremost is the '
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Ease
of doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
business&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
fusion brings with itself. Ability to understand other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
attracts investors to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
overseas which in turn creates work opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. Thailand,
for instance
, has recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
a western dance form '
Possible spelling mistake found.
Salsa&
#039; into list of regional dances which has motivated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Salsa Learning Academies to set up their offices in Thailand and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
has resulted in an upsurge in the number of jobs in Music and dance industry of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
could be the feel of connection with homeland that
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
and immigrants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in a mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
home-like traditions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of host country.

In conclusion
, it can
be summarized
that globalization and intentional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
by states to prosper the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy are the prime reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
look similar as compared to the past. A number of supporting factors including increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
opportunities and emotional connections that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
provide,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
fusion a
positively
impacting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern cultures around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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