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Cellphone use has adverse effects on teenagers

Cellphone use has adverse effects on teenagers oVJKw
Cellphone use has adverse effects on teenagers for some reason. First, the phone causes the inability to communicate. With the use of cellphone, today's teenagers spend more time using social networks than meeting face-to-face. Besides, life online makes them less connected with family members and society. Second, it causes insomnia. Most teenagers keep their phones in their hands while sleeping to conveniently answer texts and calls at any time. However, this is very harmful. Teenagers need a deep and uninterrupted sleep. This interferes with sleep leading to an increased risk of cancer. Research shows that electromagnetic radiation emitted from mobile phones will be absorbed in tissue when we hold the phone for a long time. Adolescents' nervous systems are still developing and have a higher risk of developing brain cancer than adults. In conlusion, besides the good side of the cellphone, it also brings many bad effects to anyone especially teenagers. So apart from the times when we use the phone for essential things, we should limit its use as much as posible to have a healthy life.
Cellphone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
has adverse effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason.
First
, the
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phone
causes the inability to communicate. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cellphone,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
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teenagers
spend more
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time
using social networks than meeting face-to-face.
Besides
, life online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them less connected with family members and society. Second, it causes insomnia. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in their hands while sleeping to
conveniently
answer texts and calls at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
need a deep and uninterrupted sleep. This interferes with sleep leading to an increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of cancer. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that electromagnetic radiation emitted from mobile
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phones
will
be absorbed
in tissue when we hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Adolescents' nervous systems are
still
developing and have a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of developing brain cancer than adults. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conlusion
,
besides
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side of the cellphone, it
also
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects to anyone
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
apart from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for essential things, we should limit its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as much as
Possible spelling mistake found.
posible
to have a healthy life.
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IELTS essay Cellphone use has adverse effects on teenagers

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
178 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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