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Celebrities like pop stars or famous athletes earn a lot of money every year while professionals earn much less than them. Some people think it is not a good trend while others believe that the celebrities deserve it. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Celebrities like pop stars or famous athletes earn a lot of money every year while professionals earn much less than them. Some people think it is not a good trend while others believe that the celebrities deserve it. 5LQkN
Whether the annual salary level of the artistes or the athletes is greater than the professionals is a positive trend is a controversial topic. On the face of it, the advantages seem apparent. But could there be a downside of this phenomenon? The following paragraphs outline the arguments in favour for and against this trend. One of the main arguments in favour of this trend is that it is not easy to become a star and athletes and they need to pay a lot of effort on it. To compare with the professionals, the chance of being a celebrity or an athlete to represent our own country is limited. For instance, the show ‘Be a star’ in ViuTV is a platform to let people to join if they want to be a pop star. There are lot of participants want to be a star, but only some of them are successful. Such as the team ‘Mirror”, they are only 12 people can become a pop star which they spent over 10 years to find a chance to show off their personal skills and performance. In short, it is generally agreed that the celebrities are deserved to earn more revenue due to the fact that they need to pay a lot of effort by standing out from other people. However, it is generally accepted that there are some problems associated with the professional demand. The number of professionals will be decline if there is no any benefit on the income rate. The high salary income is the most incentive way to attract the talents. As a case in point, the doctors need to study over 6 years to become a professional, it wastes lot of time and effort. But if the income is not satisfied, less people will choose to become a doctor rather than saving more time to be a normal worker. When the number of professional decrease sharply, it will affect our society and lack of doctors supply. In other words, the seriousness of this potential problem should not be overlooked. The pop star earns more income than the professionals have its advantages and downsides. In my view, it should have a reasonable income level by both parties to protect their interest.
Whether the annual salary level of the artistes or the athletes is greater than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend is a controversial topic. On the face of it, the advantages seem apparent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
could there be a downside of this phenomenon? The following paragraphs outline the arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
for and against this trend.

One of the main arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this trend is that it is not easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a star and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
athletes and
they need to pay a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of effort on it. To compare with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
, the chance of being a celebrity or an athlete to represent our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country
is limited
.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
‘Be a star’ in
Possible spelling mistake found.
ViuTV
is a platform to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
if they want to be a pop star. There are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
participants want to be a star,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are successful. Such as the team ‘Mirror”, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
12
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a pop star which they spent over 10 years to find a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and performance. In short, it is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the celebrities
are deserved
to earn more revenue due to the fact that they need to pay a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of effort by standing out from other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
, it is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
demand. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
will be decline if there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any benefit on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
rate. The high salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
is the most incentive way to attract the talents. As a case in point, the doctors need to study over 6 years to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
, it wastes
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
time and effort.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
is not satisfied,
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a doctor
rather
than saving more time to be a normal worker. When the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
decrease
sharply
, it will affect our society and lack of doctors supply.
In other words
, the seriousness of this potential problem should not
be overlooked
.

The pop star earns more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
have its advantages and downsides. In my view, it should have a reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
level by both parties to protect their interest.
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IELTS essay Celebrities like pop stars or famous athletes earn a lot of money every year while professionals earn much less than them. Some people think it is not a good trend while others believe that the celebrities deserve it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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