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Celebrities earn higher salary than senior politicians. Is this a negative or positive development for a country?

Celebrities earn higher salary than senior politicians. Is this a negative or positive development for a country? MMqPL
The differences in earning, between the entertainment workers and the superior politician, is always been a debatable topic between the people, in terms of the development of the country. In my point of view, there would be a number of negative effects if the actors earns more, than the senior politicians. To begin with, the negative sides of this income fluctuation. Firstly, It will increase corruption in the country. In other words, people, from the government, will feel less satisfied from their work due to high profit in the entertainment industry. The result of this, politician will diverted to be a corrupt officer to gain more money. For example, in a recent survey of India, many top class politician, from the congress party, found guilty in the corruption because of their interest in earning huge income compare to the actors. Secondly, it will create unstablility in the law and order of the country. To clarify this, the corrupted person will create obstacles in the improvement and will influence the riots to provide his service to the owner of the money. On the other side, there are several positive effects, if the senior politician earns more, than the actors. One of the benefit is that it will increase the economy of the country. To simplify this, generally, satisfied person from his salary works harder and he focus more on the creativity and to produce better output. Hence, the management in different sectors will be improve and it will ncrease the gowth of the country. For instance, BJP politician party in India, provides better salary for their party workers and now, they are working till late night. Moreover, such changes in the salary for the politician can attract new youth to enroll themself with the government activities. Thus, the country will able to hire highly educated and talented politician for betterment in the different sectors. In conclusion, while there are several negative effects of low income for the senior politician compare to the actors, such as corruption and unstability in the law and order, there are several benefits of the contrast situation, such as highly dedicated team and attracting highly skilled youth in the government. Therefore, it is confirmed that superior politician should earn more, than the entertainment professionals.
The differences in earning, between the entertainment workers and the superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
, is always been a debatable topic between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, in terms of the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In my point of view, there would be a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
earns more, than the senior politicians.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of this income fluctuation.
Firstly
, It will increase corruption in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, will feel less satisfied from their work due to high profit in the entertainment industry. The result of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "divert"
diverted
to be a corrupt officer to gain more money.
For example
, in a recent survey of India,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
top
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
, from the congress party, found guilty in the corruption
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their interest in earning huge income compare to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
.
Secondly
, it will create
Possible spelling mistake found.
unstablility
in the law and order of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To clarify this, the corrupted person will create obstacles in the improvement and will influence the riots to provide his service to the owner of the money.

On the other side, there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects, if the senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
earns more, than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
. One of the benefit is that it will increase the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To simplify this,
generally
, satisfied person from his salary works
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
harder and
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "focuses", "focusses", "focused", "focussed".
focus
more on the creativity and to produce better output.
Hence
, the management in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors will be
Consider using the past participle "improved"?
improve
and it will
Possible spelling mistake found.
ncrease
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
gowth
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, BJP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
party in India, provides better salary for their party workers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, they are working till late night.
Moreover
, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the salary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
can attract new youth to enroll
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
activities.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will able to hire
highly
educated and talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
for betterment in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors.

In conclusion
, while there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of low income for the senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
compare to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
, such as corruption and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unstability
in the law and order, there are several benefits of the contrast situation, such as
highly
dedicated team and attracting
highly
skilled youth in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Therefore
, it
is confirmed
that superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
should earn more, than the entertainment professionals.
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IELTS essay Celebrities earn higher salary than senior politicians. Is this a negative or positive development for a country?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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