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Causes and solutions for the problem of school violence

Causes and solutions for the problem of school violence 8GG1B
There are some reasons for the thorny issue of school-based violence. First, wrong parental guidance is the primary cause. Parents are a mirror to their children. In other words, parents’ attitudes affect majorly the way a child behave and treat people around them. Therefore, improper education can result in youngsters’ inappropriate reactions to social experiences. Take children being overindulged as a typical example. Teenagers in this case often think that they can possess everything they want and are likely to have aggressive actions towards others if they do not obey them. Another important reason is the apathy of adults when violence happens. Some people wrongly believe that bullying is just a conflict between children and that it is not an alarming problem to be considered. Consequently, this prompts bullies to redo it later. With the aforementioned causes, two measures should be carried out to tackle this problem. First, an optimal solution is to raise people’s, not only adolescents but also adults, awareness about the intensive ramifications of bullying. For instance, parents should collaborate with schools to organize some special classes to emphasize the serious effects of school violence. The earlier the intervention, the more attention people will pay to this issue. Moreover, the authorities play a key role because imposing strict punishments on violence can be a comprehensive method. This will surely deter bulliers from hurting other people.
There are
some
reasons for the thorny issue of school-based
violence
.
First
,
wrong
parental guidance is the primary cause. Parents are a mirror to their children.
In other words
, parents’ attitudes affect
majorly
the way a child behave and treat
people
around them.
Therefore
, improper education can result in youngsters’ inappropriate reactions to social experiences. Take children
being overindulged
as a typical example.
Teenagers
in this case
often
think
that they can possess everything they want and are likely to have aggressive actions towards others if they do not obey them. Another
important
reason is the apathy of adults when
violence
happens.
Some
people
wrongly
believe that bullying is
just
a conflict between children and that it is not an alarming problem to
be considered
.
Consequently
, this prompts bullies to redo it later.

With the aforementioned causes, two measures should
be carried
out to tackle this problem.
First
, an optimal solution is to raise
people’s
, not
only
adolescents
but
also
adults, awareness about the intensive ramifications of bullying.
For instance
, parents should collaborate with schools to organize
some
special classes to emphasize the serious effects of school
violence
.
The earlier the
intervention, the more attention
people
will pay to this issue.
Moreover
, the authorities play a key role
because
imposing strict punishments on
violence
can be a comprehensive method. This will
surely
deter
bulliers
from hurting other
people
.
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IELTS essay Causes and solutions for the problem of school violence

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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