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Cause and solutions of moving from rural to urban areas

Cause and solutions of moving from rural to urban areas 8QQPw
These day, the situation of people moving from rural to urban areas is very common. Its lead to a disparity in population. The essay will explain the reason why and suggested several solutions. The first reason is due to the lack of employment of people in rural areas. In rural areas, agricultural production is mainly seasonal. Therefore, it is not enough to everyone's employment need. The second reason is due to the desire for a better quality of life. Because the city has a better education and health system than the countryside. As a place where mass media is developed, information can be easily updated. There are a several solutions to improve this problem. First, it is necessary to propagate and encourage migrants to return to the countryside. Strengthening policies to support and take care of life in rural areas. Create jobs for the unemployed. In addition, government needs to upgrade infrastructure, improve quality of countryside. In conclusion, moving from rural to urban areas will affect the uneven population distribution in the two areas and will leave many vacant lands.
Did you mean "this day" or "These days"?
These day
, the situation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
moving from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common. Its lead to a disparity in population. The essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reason why and suggested several solutions.

The
first
reason is due to the lack of employment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, agricultural production is
mainly
seasonal.
Therefore
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to everyone's employment need. The second reason is due to the desire for a better quality of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the city has a better education and health system than the countryside. As a place where mass media
is developed
, information can be
easily
updated.

There are a several
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "solution"?
solutions
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this problem.
First
, it is necessary to propagate and encourage migrants to return to the countryside. Strengthening policies to support and take care of life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Create jobs for the unemployed.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to upgrade infrastructure,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of countryside.

In conclusion
, moving from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
to urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will affect the uneven population distribution in the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vacant lands.
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IELTS essay Cause and solutions of moving from rural to urban areas

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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