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Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars? v.1

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars? v. 1
It is true that the number of people having a car has increased exponentially in the last thirty years. While I completely agree with the view / opinion / argument that most metro cities have become ‘one big traffic jam’, there are many steps which governments can take to tackle this problem. Traffic congestion is the most pressing issue that many cities across the world face today. Over the last few decades, the rate of car ownership has accelerated significantly, and if not controlled, it is likely to rise further. Admittedly, governments across the world have tried to resolve / fix this problem by widening existing roads; however, they have not been able to match the pace of increasing car ownership. Consequently, the problem of congestion has escalated to such a level that in big cities, it affects not only business activities but also the physical and mental well-being of residents. Businesses incur loss because of the delay in moving their goods and manpower. Urban residents also suffer because of the constant noise and air pollution caused by frequent traffic jams. There are many measures that governments can initiate to contain this issue of increasing number of cars on roads. First of all, governments can increase the financial burden of owing a car by imposing green tax on the sale of new cars and fuel. They are likely to face resistance from voters; however, they can certainly gather public support by running awareness campaigns. Moreover, they can invest more in public transport. If people find that travelling by bus or commuter train can save their money and time, they will certainly prefer them to private vehicles. In conclusion, although most cities struggle with the issue of traffic congestion, authorities can alleviate this situation / problem by imposing carbon tax on private vehicles and improving public transport infrastructure.
It is true that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has increased
exponentially
in the last thirty years. While I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view / opinion / argument that most metro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have become ‘one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
traffic jam’, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
steps which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can take to tackle this problem.

Traffic congestion is the most pressing issue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
across the world face
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Over the last few decades, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership has accelerated
significantly
, and if not controlled, it is likely to rise
further
.
Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
across the world have tried to resolve /
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this problem by widening existing roads;
however
, they have not been able to match the pace of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership.
Consequently
, the problem of congestion has escalated to such a level that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, it affects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
business activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the physical and mental well-being of residents. Businesses incur loss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the delay in moving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and manpower. Urban residents
also
suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the constant noise and air pollution caused by frequent traffic jams.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
measures that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can initiate to contain this issue of increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on roads.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can increase the financial burden of owing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
by imposing green tax on the sale of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and fuel. They are likely to face resistance from voters;
however
, they can
certainly
gather public support by running awareness campaigns.
Moreover
, they can invest more in public transport. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find that travelling by bus or commuter train can save their money and time, they will
certainly
prefer them to private vehicles.

In conclusion
, although most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
struggle with the issue of traffic congestion, authorities can alleviate this situation / problem by imposing carbon tax on private vehicles and improving public transport infrastructure.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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