Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries, the cost of living is rising. What problems will this for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of this issue. v.2

In many countries, the cost of living is rising. What problems will this for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of this issue. v. 2
Many people aspire to start their own business instead of working in a captive environment. The foremost reason for this preference is the, liberty, which people get by working independently. Although this gives the impression to have benefits, but, it has his own drawbacks. On the one hand, working independently allows the individual not to be bound by the regulations and be compliant with the terms of the company. Not every individual appreciates of having someone to dictate the terms and adhere policies. For instance, Raj Kandra, who once worked for an MNC left his job to start a career in fashion designing. He created a fashion boutique startup named Jiggly which later turned out to be one of the successful startups of the 21st century. This example, portrays that self-owned work will enhance the individual’s skill, creative thinking and the way to achieve their ambitions. On the other hand, being self-employed requires a great deal of skills and boundless professional abilities to achieve the goal. Primarily, it includes large investment to commence, which not only involves risks with no guarantee of profit. Consequently, with no profit, individual must bear all the losses and consequences arise from being self-employed. For example, Sebastian, founder of We Work startup, invested a vast amount of money to kick start his business which eventually turned to be a bad asset. Later, this led to the closure of the company and going into bankruptcy. In conclusion, working independently may allow the individuals not to be bound by the policies of the company, but not every individual manages to lead a successful life through self-employment.
Many
people
aspire to
start
their
own
business
instead
of
working
in a captive environment. The foremost reason for this preference is
the,
liberty, which
people
get
by
working
independently
. Although this gives the impression to have benefits,
but
, it has his
own
drawbacks.

On the one hand,
working
independently
allows
the
individual
not to
be bound
by the regulations and be compliant with the terms of the
company
. Not every
individual
appreciates of having someone to dictate the terms and adhere policies.
For instance
, Raj
Kandra
, who once worked for an
MNC
left
his job to
start
a career in fashion designing. He created a fashion boutique startup named Jiggly which later turned out to be one of the successful startups of the 21st century. This example, portrays that self-
owned
work will enhance the
individual’s
skill
, creative thinking and the way to achieve their ambitions.

On the other hand
, being self-employed requires a great deal of
skills
and boundless professional abilities to achieve the goal.
Primarily
, it includes large investment to commence, which not
only
involves
risks
with no guarantee of profit.
Consequently
, with no profit,
individual
must
bear all the losses and consequences arise from being self-employed.
For example
, Sebastian, founder of We Work startup, invested a vast amount of money to kick
start
his business which
eventually
turned to be a
bad
asset. Later, this led to the closure of the
company
and going into bankruptcy.

In conclusion
,
working
independently
may
allow
the
individuals
not to
be bound
by the policies of the
company
,
but
not every
individual
manages to lead a successful life through self-employment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, the cost of living is rising. What problems will this for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of this issue. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts