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Canadian donors of charitable organization

Canadian donors of charitable organization r6wjL
In the following graphic, information about Canadian donors is shown. Relevant comparisons can be identified from it. The principal variable we can highlight is the age group, The second one is a comparison of the years 2000 and 2015. A surprising change, if we compared 2000 and 2015 is how a younger group (35 to 49) seem to stop giving money or at least there was a considerable decrease in the amount of it. On the other hand, an older group (52 to 64) got more interested as the years passed. The past two statements have the higher percentage of the graphic from 34% to 39% approximately and viceversa. Additionally, the group with less donations, showing a percentage of just 20% in 2000 was the age range of 18 to 24. The previous data did not get better, it even had a decrease to 11% which can be an interesting topic for a future investigation.
In the following graphic, information about Canadian donors
is shown
. Relevant comparisons can
be identified
from it. The principal variable we can highlight is the age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, The second one is a comparison of the years 2000 and 2015.

A surprising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, if we compared 2000 and 2015 is how a younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
(35 to 49) seem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
giving money or at least there was a considerable decrease in the amount of it.
On the other hand
, an older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
(52 to 64)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more interested as the years passed. The past two statements have the higher percentage of the graphic from 34% to 39% approximately and
Possible spelling mistake found.
viceversa
.

Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun donations is countable.
less
donations, showing a percentage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
20% in 2000 was the age range of 18 to 24. The previous data did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better, it even had a decrease to 11% which can be an interesting topic for a future investigation.
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IELTS essay Canadian donors of charitable organization

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
155 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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