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Percentage of Candian donors of 2000 and 2015

Percentage of Candian donors of 2000 and 2015 7Lemb
The charity is a valuable action among the people to have a community of peace, union, collaboration and worry for others. As it can be seen in the graphic we have ages between 18 to 65 + where can be seen that in the year 2000 the most group of people that give donations were between the age 35 to 49. And the least group who gave charity in 2000 were young adults between 18 to 24. Comparing now with the year 2015 the group age that gave more charity were adults of 50 to 64. The ones that gave minor charity in 2015 were young adults (18-24). I have observed that in this world the kidness and sensibility has been decreasing more in young adults, as in the group 18 to 24 compared in the years 2000 and 2015. In older people is more noticeable how sensibility keep in them and practice it.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
is a valuable action among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to have a community of peace, union, collaboration and
The verb 'worry' does not normally take the preposition 'for'. Did you mean "worry about"?
worry for
others.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the graphic we have ages
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 18 and 65".
between 18 to 65
+ where can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in the year 2000 the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that give donations were between the age 35 to 49. And the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
who gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
in 2000 were young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 18 and 24".
between 18 to 24
. Comparing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
with the year 2015 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
age that gave more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
of 50 to 64. The ones that gave minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
in 2015 were young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
(18-24). I have observed that in this world the
Possible spelling mistake found.
kidness
and sensibility has been decreasing more in young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, as in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
18 to 24 compared in the years 2000 and 2015. In older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
more noticeable how sensibility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in them and practice it.
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IELTS essay Percentage of Candian donors of 2000 and 2015

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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