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Can personality change over time?

Can personality change over time? j8wJ1
There is an opinion that a person's personality cannot change. I think it all depends on the person, especially the age. Firstly, children and teenagers are just forming a personality, so they are very susceptible to various factors. At the same time, adults already have their own constant opinions, views on life and certain qualities. Therefore, it is more difficult to change an adult personality. Secondly, there are different types of people, their characters. Some are easier to influence and change than others. Especially, it seems to me, shock situations affect a person. For example, the death of a loved one or unexpected health problems. However, there are also positive cases: the birth of a child or the achievement of success in something. Much depends on the society in which the individual finds himself. If everything is calm around, then the personality will remain the still. Also, many people try to change for someone, and they succeed. But this is a short-term result. Over time, a person will show what he tried to hide. In conclusion, our personality depends on both an external factor and an internal one. Of course, both affect who we are. New traits can be caused mainly by various unexpected life situations.
There is an opinion that a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it all depends on the person,
especially
the age.

Firstly
, children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
forming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
susceptible to various factors. At the same time, adults already have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
constant opinions, views on life and certain qualities.
Therefore
, it is more difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
an adult personality.

Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, their characters.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are easier to influence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
than others.
Especially
, it seems to me, shock situations affect a person.
For example
, the death of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one or unexpected health problems.
However
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
cases: the birth of a child or the achievement of success in something. Much depends on the society in which the individual finds himself. If everything is calm around, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
will remain the
still
.

Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
for someone, and they succeed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this is a short-term result. Over time, a person will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
what he tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
.

In conclusion
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
depends on both an external factor and an internal one.
Of course
, both affect who we are. New traits can
be caused
mainly
by various unexpected life situations.
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IELTS essay Can personality change over time?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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