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For the past months, it has overwhelmed me with various information about the requirements of being an international student in New Zealand. Furthermore, I need to organize these thoughts for me to make the right decision on what course to take, the student cost, and if the current money is sufficient or there is a need to apply for a part-time job. I believe I pursued New Zealand, and I will take a Diploma in Electrical Engineering instead.

For the past months, it has overwhelmed me with various information about the requirements of being an international student in New Zealand. Furthermore, I need to organize these thoughts for me to make the right decision on what course to take, the student cost, and if the current money is sufficient or there is a need to apply for a part-time job. I believe I pursued New Zealand, and I will take a Diploma in Electrical Engineering instead. aEmlw
For the past months, it has overwhelmed me with various information about the requirements of being an international student in New Zealand. Furthermore, I need to organize these thoughts for me to make the right decision on what course to take, the student cost, and if the current money is sufficient or there is a need to apply for a part-time job. I believe I pursued New Zealand, and I will take a Diploma in Electrical Engineering instead. Student pathway is expensive, but the fastest route to migrate to a foreign country, particularly in New Zealand. In doing so, I must research the requirements and the expenses along with it. The further I got into the list of documents needed, the more I got drown with this information. Thus, I must organize it in a file so I can backtrack it at one point. For instance, in an institution like the Wintec; the international student fee is triple the price of domestic ones. In addition, the insurance, show money: housing accommodation, meal & transportation allowance, etc. medical certificate, airfare, and the tuition fee must also be in the list of documents which must be presented to qualify. Moreover, the letter of intent must convince that the student must return to their mother country once the course is finished. According to my computation, the estimated cost in a year is 1. 4 million pesos. Meanwhile, the entire 2-year course is around 3 million pesos. Afterward, I presented these studies both to my sister-in-law and my brother who lived in Hamilton, New Zealand, to check whether there are discrepancies with my research and be able to rectify them. Surprisingly, my brother informed me he was taking up a Diploma in Electrical Engineering this year, and he suggested I take the same course because he is planning to build a part-time business for his own. After I graduate, he can hire me once the business blooms and requires more workforce. In addition, Electrical Engineering falls in the shortage list of skills in New Zealand, and it would be a splendid opportunity to take it there and get my permanent resident easier. Another requirement that will take the most time to prepare for is the English proficiency examination. I decided to take the PTE instead of IELETS since it is less expensive, and my chances to aim for a high score are manageable compared to IELETS. Currently, I am struggling to finish my grammar studies and enhance my skills in writing. In essence, I am glad to say that I am aware of my mistakes. However, I am unsure in a setting where there is a time-conscious format. One of these days, I may write an essay that will be good enough to be presented to an online coach since I am enrolled in Niner’s review, which is the largest review center that will prepare me for the IELETS/ PTE/ OTP examination. The overview of the expense and the documents makes a person prepare for the upcoming expenses and deliberately can finance them. Unfortunately, I need to seek another employment so that I can increase my savings to lessen the loan that my brother would apply for. In Manila, I applied as a part-time English teacher, which is an alternative way to achieve extra money. However, it is low pay, nevertheless; it is good enough as another freelance gig for me. I pass the online screening, but I reschedule for the second assessment online Skype since the requirements require more time for me to comply. They did not respond to my email, which is unfortunate at the moment. Beforehand, I applied as a part-time teacher for Chinese students, but I messed up the process. Besides, I dislike teaching Chinese since the scamming incident last year. I preferred the Japanese instead. Hopefully, I will get a job to increase my savings. Having this information in an organized file makes my life easier and focuses on my goals. Finally, I got the student expenses documented, and with the checklist, one by one I can finish the requirements and eliminate missing documents.
For the past months, it has overwhelmed me with various information about the requirements of being an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand.
Furthermore
, I need to organize these thoughts for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right decision on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
to take, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
cost, and if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
money is sufficient or there is a need to apply for a part-time job. I believe I pursued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand, and I will take a Diploma in Electrical Engineering
instead
.

Student pathway is expensive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the fastest route to migrate to a foreign country,
particularly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand. In doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
research the requirements and the expenses along with it. The
further
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
into the list of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
documents
needed, the more I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
drown with this information.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
organize it in a file
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can backtrack it at one point.
For instance
, in an institution like the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wintec
; the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
fee is triple the price of domestic ones.
In addition
, the insurance,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
money: housing accommodation, meal & transportation allowance, etc. medical certificate, airfare, and the tuition fee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
be in the list of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
documents
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be presented
to qualify.
Moreover
, the letter of intent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
convince that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
return to their mother country once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is finished
. According to my computation, the estimated cost in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is 1. 4 million pesos. Meanwhile, the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
2-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is around 3 million pesos. Afterward, I presented these studies both to my sister-in-law and my brother who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Hamilton,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
whether there are discrepancies with my research and be able to rectify them.
Surprisingly
, my brother informed me he was taking up a Diploma in Electrical Engineering this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, and he suggested I take the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is planning to build a part-time business for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. After I graduate, he can hire me once the business blooms and requires more workforce.
In addition
, Electrical Engineering falls in the shortage list of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand, and it would be a splendid opportunity to take it there and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
my permanent resident easier.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
requirement
that will take the most time to prepare for is the English proficiency examination. I decided to take the PTE
instead
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
IELETS
since it is less expensive, and my chances to aim for a high score are manageable compared to
Possible spelling mistake found.
IELETS
.
Currently
, I am struggling to finish my grammar studies and enhance my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in writing. In essence, I am glad to say that I am aware of my mistakes.
However
, I am unsure in a setting where there is a time-conscious format. One of these days, I may write an essay that will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
be presented
to an online coach since I
am enrolled
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Niner
’s review, which is the largest review center that will prepare me for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
IELETS
/ PTE/ OTP examination.

The overview of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expense
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
documents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person prepare for the upcoming expenses and
deliberately
can finance them. Unfortunately, I need to seek another employment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can increase my savings to lessen the loan that my brother would apply for. In Manila, I applied as a part-time English teacher, which is an alternative way to achieve extra money.
However
, it is low pay,
nevertheless
; it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
as another freelance gig for me. I pass the online screening,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I reschedule for the second assessment online Skype since the requirements require more time for me to comply. They did not respond to my email, which is unfortunate at the moment. Beforehand, I applied as a part-time teacher for Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I messed up the process.
Besides
, I dislike teaching Chinese since the scamming incident last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. I preferred the Japanese
instead
.
Hopefully
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job to increase my savings.

Having this information in an organized file
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
my life easier and focuses on my goals.
Finally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
expenses documented, and with the checklist, one by one I can finish the requirements and eliminate missing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
documents
.
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IELTS essay For the past months, it has overwhelmed me with various information about the requirements of being an international student in New Zealand. Furthermore, I need to organize these thoughts for me to make the right decision on what course to take, the student cost, and if the current money is sufficient or there is a need to apply for a part-time job. I believe I pursued New Zealand, and I will take a Diploma in Electrical Engineering instead.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
685 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • For the past months, it has overwhelmed me with various information about the requirements of being an international student in New Zealand. Furthermore, I need to organize these thoughts for me to make the right decision on what course to take, the student cost, and if the current money is sufficient or there is a need to apply for a part-time job. I believe I pursued New Zealand, and I will take a Diploma in Electrical Engineering instead.