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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? AjBP3
In our era, digitalization has gained a great acceleration in parallel with the development of technology. Most of the daily life activities, such as shopping, are now possible to conduct without leaving home. Online shopping is becoming more common for a variety of needs. Despite many argue that there are disadvantages of online shopping, in my opinion, advantages are predominant. On the one hand, online shopping has got some drawbacks. Firstly, it is intrinsically unsafe. It is not possible to see the seller as well as the product before paying for it. There are many fraud examples where customers receive a completely different product than ordered, and can not contact with sellers afterwards. Secondly, it is compulsory to share some sensitive personal information along with credit card number in distance shopping. In 2021, Turkey's most popular food ordering website Yemeksepeti announced that hackers broke into 25 million personal accounts and customer data. Hence, the safety of personal information can not be guaranteed. On the other hand, distance shopping brought many advantages to our life. First of all, it saves time, as going out is not necessary. Variety of products can be bought online just by several clicks. In terms of variety, of course, the spectrum is much more diverse, which is another advantage. Thus, shoppers are able to find easily what they need, so that customers and suppliers are met more efficiently and more rapidly. As flow of the money and trade connections increase, economies of countries benefit at a great extent. It is undeniable that all parties involved are satisfied with online shopping. In conclusion, shopping habits are evolving into a more digitalized way. Although there are serious disadvantages of this evolution, they could be manageable when necessary precautions are applied.
In our era, digitalization has gained a great acceleration in parallel with the development of technology. Most of the daily life activities, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
possible to conduct without leaving home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is becoming more common for a variety of needs. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that there are disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, in my opinion, advantages are predominant.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.
Firstly
, it is
intrinsically
unsafe. It is not possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the seller
as well
as the product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
paying for it. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fraud examples where customers receive a completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
product than ordered, and can not contact with sellers afterwards.
Secondly
, it is compulsory to share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sensitive personal information along with credit card number in distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. In 2021, Turkey's most popular food ordering website
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yemeksepeti
announced that hackers broke into 25 million personal accounts and customer data.
Hence
, the safety of personal information can not
be guaranteed
.

On the other hand
, distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to our life.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it saves time, as going out is not necessary. Variety of products can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by several clicks. In terms of variety,
of course
, the spectrum is much more diverse, which is another advantage.
Thus
, shoppers are able to find
easily
what they need,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that customers and suppliers
are met
more
efficiently
and more
rapidly
. As flow of the money and trade connections increase, economies of countries benefit at a great extent. It is undeniable that all parties involved
are satisfied
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits are evolving into a more digitalized way. Although there are serious disadvantages of this evolution, they could be manageable when necessary precautions
are applied
.
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IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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