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Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Kwn09
It is argued that countries should allocate more funds to education than to leisure and competitive games. It is agreed that national budgets should prioritise schools and universities over sports and play. First, I will discuss the economic benefits that education can bring to a nation and secondly, the social benefits it has. Investment in its education system is one of the best ways to improve a country’s economy in the long term. The more students entering third-level education, the more skilled a workforce will be and this leads to higher innovation and productivity. For example, South Korea and Finland took the decision to invest a large proportion of their budget in education and this has reaped benefits in the form of high-tech companies such as Samsung and Nokia. However, people cannot work hard all the time and these companies do provide leisure facilities for their workers. Education is not just about improving the economy it also has many social benefits. Well educated people tend to be more aware of social evils such as drugs, alcohol and sexual health. For example, Singapore educates all of its citizens on the dangers of drugs and this has resulted in one of the lowest levels of drug abuse in the world. Despite this, sports can also teach children valuable soft skills, such as teamwork and work ethic which also help curb social ills. In conclusion, education should take precedence over sports when it comes to funding due to the many socio-economic benefits it brings. It is recommended that governments continue to pump money into schools and universities in order to realise long-term goals.
It
is argued
that countries should allocate more funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than to leisure and competitive games. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that national budgets should
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
schools and universities over sports and play.
First
, I will discuss the economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can bring to a nation and
secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
it has.

Investment in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system is one of the best ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a country’s economy in the long term. The more students entering third-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, the more skilled a workforce will be and this leads to higher innovation and productivity.
For example
, South Korea and Finland took the decision to invest a large proportion of their budget in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and this has reaped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
in the form of high-tech
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
such as Samsung and Nokia.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
all the time and these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
do provide leisure facilities for their workers.

Education is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about improving the economy it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
.
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Well educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to be more aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
evils such as drugs, alcohol and sexual health.
For example
, Singapore educates all of its citizens on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of drugs and this has resulted in one of the lowest levels of drug abuse in the world. Despite this, sports can
also
teach children valuable soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as teamwork and work ethic which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
curb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
ills.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should take precedence over sports when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to funding due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
it brings. It
is recommended
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
continue to pump money into schools and universities in order to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
long-term goals.
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IELTS essay Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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