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bullying at schools do you agree or no

bullying at schools do you agree or no Dqjak
The percentage of bullying incidents in schools has increased significantly nowadays. The reasons of this rise are different, for instance psychological or social problems of children which lead them to antisocial behaviors. However, it is a matter of debate whether bullies should be expelled from school or not. It seems to me that the expulsion is not the proper solution of this social issue. When a child bullies another child, the first one tries to acquire power which they lack. It is possible that they have not received the necessary attention by their parents or their closest ones and as a consequence they misbehave. Neglect may come from school as well while teachers usually do not pay enough attention to students who do not have satisfactory academic performance. As a result, these students want to gain attention by all means. If a bully is expelled from a school, the problems would become more intense. They might be stigmatized for a lifetime, and this would potentially destroy their prospects. Moreover, if a bully is dismissed from school, this could lead to even worse behavioral patterns and more negative reaction towards others. What is more, they will probably continue misbehaving in another school environment, if they do not realise the consequences of their actions. In my point of view, the key solution is for adults to show them how to treat others with respect. By treating others with kindness and respect, adults would show that there is no place for bullying. Another step that can be taken is for parents or teachers to encourage kids to take part in activities and hobbies they are interested in since these activities give kids a chance to have fun and meet others with the same interests. Consequently, they can build confidence and friendships that help protect them from bullying. To conclude, it seems that expelling bullies from school is not the ideal way to confront this issue. Bullies belong to a social group of people and will continue to exist even if they are sent from one place to the other. However, it is essential that we try to help them improve themselves, as that would ultimately bring more desired results both for the individuals and the society.
The percentage of bullying incidents in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has increased
significantly
nowadays. The reasons of this rise are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
for instance
psychological or social problems of children which lead them to antisocial behaviors.
However
, it is a matter of debate whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullies
should
be expelled
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or not. It seems to me that the expulsion is not the proper solution of this social issue.

When a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullies
another child, the
first
one tries to acquire power which they lack. It is possible that they have not received the necessary attention by their parents or their closest ones and as a consequence they misbehave. Neglect may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as well
while teachers
usually
do not pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
attention to students who do not have satisfactory academic performance.
As a result
, these students want to gain attention by all means.

If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bully
is expelled
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the problems would become more intense. They might
be stigmatized
for a lifetime, and this would
potentially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their prospects.
Moreover
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bully
is dismissed
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, this could lead to even worse behavioral patterns and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
reaction towards others.
What is more
, they will
probably
continue misbehaving in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment, if they do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the consequences of their actions. In my point of view, the key solution is for adults to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them how to treat others with respect. By treating others with kindness and respect, adults would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that there is no place for bullying. Another step that can
be taken
is for parents or teachers to encourage kids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in activities and hobbies they
are interested
in since these activities give kids a chance to have fun and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
others with the same interests.
Consequently
, they can build confidence and friendships that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
protect them from bullying.

To conclude
, it seems that expelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullies
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not the ideal way to confront this issue.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bullies
belong to a social group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and will continue to exist even if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
from one place to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
However
, it is essential that we try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves, as that would
ultimately
bring more desired results both for the individuals and the society.
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IELTS essay bullying at schools do you agree or no

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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