Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the role of technology is becoming more and more important

the role of technology is becoming more and more important lqaVK
The world is changing. Since we are living today in an electronic information age, the role of technology is becoming more and more important. In one side, it is easier to be connected by technology. However, disadvantages still appeared. That's why we have to carefully consider its benefits and drawbacks. There is no doubt that high-tech brings us countless of advantages. For instance, network has enabled people to access to the worldwide web so that they can search for priceless information from numerous fields from all over the world. Furthermore, we can use internet to communicate with relatives and friends who live faraway much easier, with no cost. In addition, for the elderly, television is a great source of both entertainment and information with weather forecast, musical programs, movies and news. Information age has created an easier lifestyle, and nobody can deny it. Nevertheless, the high-tech devices has surely opened the door to another world but those amusing tools are extremely easy to addicted too. Naturally, TV is designated in the first place to help people relax and refresh their mind so the majority of its content is entertaining with the goal to keep you watching. It goes the same with social network and internet. The more time you spend to "entertain", the more time you lost. Moreover, once somebody get addicted, he can't spend enough time for his social circle, which lengthen the gap between people. In conclusion, although technology help entertain and gets things easier, it does not mean that all people are happy. I strongly believe that information age and technology create opportunities, but only opportunities, and nothing more. In brief, it's people who make their choice on what benefit them and what not.
The world is changing. Since we are living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in an electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
age, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is becoming more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In one side, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
to
be connected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
However
, disadvantages
still
appeared. That's why we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carefully
consider its benefits and drawbacks.

There is no doubt that high-tech brings us
Do not use "of" after "countless". Did you mean "countless advantages"?
countless of advantages
.
For instance
, network has enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to access to the worldwide web
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can search for priceless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from numerous fields from all over the world.
Furthermore
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet to communicate with relatives and friends who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
faraway much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
, with no cost.
In addition
, for the elderly, television is a great source of both entertainment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with weather forecast, musical programs, movies and news.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
age has created an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
lifestyle, and nobody can deny it.

Nevertheless
, the high-tech devices has
surely
opened the door to another world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
those amusing tools are
extremely
easy to addicted too.
Naturally
, TV
is designated
in the
first
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relax and refresh their mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the majority of its content is entertaining with the goal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you watching. It goes the same with social network and internet. The more time you spend to
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
entertain
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, the more time you lost.
Moreover
, once somebody
The pronoun 'somebody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
addicted, he can't spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for his social circle, which lengthen the gap between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
entertain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
, it does not mean that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are happy. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
age and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
create opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
opportunities, and nothing more.
In brief
, it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their choice on what benefit them and what not.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay the role of technology is becoming more and more important

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts