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Building and renovating curriculums to suit actual requirements is one of the important missions of educational administrators.

Building and renovating curriculums to suit actual requirements is one of the important missions of educational administrators. d3qAP
Building and renovating curriculums to suit actual requirements is one of the important missions of educational administrators. Nowadays, a number of students have early decisions in their dream jobs involving cooking and baking. That is why it is a common belief that the high school program should contain vocational modules associated with the students' career aspirations of rather than common subjects. However, I just partly agree with this ideal. On the one hand, it is true that the inclusion of vocational subjects in the high school curriculum brings some essential benefits to learners. Firstly, the modules correlated with their occupations will provide them an overview about their future careers. For example, throughout learning how to make some simple kinds of cake in cooking classes, students will somewhat recognize works’ a baker. Secondly, vocational subjects also create a solid background in order to help students approach specialized courses at higher education levels. For instance, if high school students are equipped with nutrition science knowledge, they will understand food additives applied in making bakeries which are taught in universities. On the other hand, besides vocational subjects, other regular modules also take an important part in supporting high school students to form valuable skills for their future careers. Take pastry making as an example, good bakers are good at not only making cakes but also expressing their ideals to customers. Literature may be a useful subject in assisting high school learners to develop their language abilities which help them convince customers to buy their cakes in the future. Furthermore, besides traditional pastries in the domestic market, bakers should extend studying and developing cakes from around the world. And it is clear that without foreign languages, they will have difficulties in undertaking this work. Hence, foreign languages such as English, Chinese, and Japanese should be considered mandatory subjects in the high school curriculum. In conclusion, the high school curriculum should contain both vocational and other essential subjects to provide students a well-round education.
Building and renovating curriculums to suit actual requirements is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
missions of educational administrators. Nowadays, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have early decisions in their dream jobs involving cooking and baking.
That is
why it is a common belief that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
program should contain vocational modules associated with the students' career aspirations of
rather
than common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
However
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this ideal.

On the one hand, it is true that the inclusion of vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential benefits to learners.
Firstly
, the modules correlated with their occupations will provide them an overview about their future careers.
For example
, throughout learning how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
simple kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cake
in cooking classes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will somewhat recognize works’ a baker.
Secondly
, vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
also
create a solid background in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
approach specialized courses at higher education levels.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are equipped
with nutrition science knowledge, they will understand food additives applied in making bakeries which
are taught
in universities.

On the other hand
,
besides
vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, other regular modules
also
take an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to form valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for their future careers. Take pastry making as an example,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
bakers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cakes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
expressing their ideals to customers. Literature may be a useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in assisting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
learners to develop their language abilities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them convince customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cakes
in the future.
Furthermore
,
besides
traditional pastries in the domestic market, bakers should extend studying and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cakes
from around the world. And it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that without foreign languages, they will have difficulties in undertaking this work.
Hence
, foreign languages such as English, Chinese, and Japanese should
be considered
mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum should contain both vocational and other essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a well-round education.
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IELTS essay Building and renovating curriculums to suit actual requirements is one of the important missions of educational administrators.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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