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Bringing up children is not only the responsibility of a mother but also fathers are too responsible. what is your opinoon

Bringing up children is not only the responsibility of a mother but also fathers are too responsible. what is your opinoon e850B
Bringing up children is not only the responsibility of a mother but also fathers are too responsible. Some people believe only mothers are taking care of their new bores until they become independent. On the contrary in my opinion this is the collective responsibility of both the parent due to the fact, it mitigates either mother's or the father's work. As well as, at the same time a child who need mother's love and protection of a father. Firstly, shaping a child is a combined job for both mother and father. It helps parents to share their duties as well as, offers a number of time to relax. For instance, sharing obligations give time to focus on any other work rather than running behind their pupils. Especially in the case of a newborn, it is a difficult task for a single parent to control the child.
Bringing up children is not
only
the responsibility of a mother
but
also
fathers are too responsible.
Some
people
believe
only
mothers are taking care of their new bores until they become independent.
On the contrary
in my opinion this is the collective responsibility of both the parent due to the fact, it mitigates either mother's or the father's work.
As well
as, at the same time a child who need mother's
love
and protection of a father.
Firstly
, shaping a child is a combined job for both mother and father. It
helps
parents to share their duties
as well
as, offers a number of time to relax.
For instance
, sharing obligations give time to focus on any other work
rather
than running behind their pupils.
Especially
in the case of a newborn, it is a difficult task for a single parent to control the child.
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IELTS essay Bringing up children is not only the responsibility of a mother but also fathers are too responsible. what is your opinoon

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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