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TPO 44 - Question 5Briefly summarize the problem the speaker are discussing. Then state which solution you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v.1

TPO 44 - Question 5Briefly summarize the problem the speaker are discussing. Then state which solution you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v. 1
While the elderly used to be delighted and in good health conditions in the past as a result of more physical activities and interactions with family and friends, many of them are living in solitude dealing with health issues. This essay will discuss two prominent causes, including retirement and urbanization. This essay will also suggest two main solutions including migration and new activities. Retired old people are condemned to spend the rest of their lives in cramped gloomy houses next to many other people they do not know. Furthermore, the houses are not as appealing as they used to be. As an example, unlike older houses, apartments do not have interesting views and the views are mostly other buildings’ facade. In addition, in contrast to old houses, new ones do not include gardens which were a resource of both picturesque views of houses as well as physical activities for its maintenance. As a result, the elderly people have lost their motivation for making relationships and being active. Moving to the country or rural areas can pacify the aged and boost their feelings. Living in a village, a small group of people create a friendly atmosphere there. Additionally, moving to these areas pushes old people toward having new physical activities and it will make a new lease on life for them. For example, agricultural activities are common in such areas and people usually have to harvest their own food. Moreover, being busy with farming, they lose the track of time and days passes easier for them next to familiar people in the neighbourhood. Therefore, they will not experience loneliness and health condition increases. In conclusion, old people are suffering from loneliness and health problems nowadays unlike the past. This essay discussed why old people are under the pressure due to urbanization and retirement. This essay also suggested that the solutions are migration and new activities.
While the elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
be delighted
and in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions in the past
as a result
of more physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and interactions with family and friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are living in solitude dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss two prominent causes, including retirement and urbanization. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
suggest two main solutions including migration and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
activities.

Retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are condemned
to spend the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in cramped gloomy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
next
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they do not know.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
are not as appealing as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be. As an example, unlike older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
, apartments do not have interesting views and the views are
mostly
other buildings’ facade.
In addition
,
in contrast
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
ones do not include gardens which were a resource of both picturesque views of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for its maintenance.
As a result
, the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have lost their motivation for making relationships and being active.

Moving to the country or rural areas can pacify the aged and boost their feelings. Living in a village, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
create a friendly atmosphere there.
Additionally
, moving to these areas pushes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
toward having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lease on life for them.
For example
, agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are common in such areas and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
harvest their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
food.
Moreover
, being busy with farming, they lose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of time and days passes easier for them
next
to familiar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
Therefore
, they will not experience loneliness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition increases.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from loneliness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems nowadays unlike the past. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are under the pressure due to urbanization and retirement. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
suggested that the solutions are migration and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 44 - Question 5Briefly summarize the problem the speaker are discussing. Then state which solution you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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