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Boxing is a blood sport which often results in physical injury. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in modern age. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers, and include any relevant examples from you knowledge and experiences. v.3

Boxing is a blood sport which often results in physical injury. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in modern age. v. 3
Ancient Greece the pioneer of the Olympics included boxing as one of their events and up to now it is still in existence. It is often argued that boxing is a brutal physical sport which often results in serious injuries and should not be practiced today. In my own view, I disagree with the statement, boxing is a good sport and should still be included in major events today. In this essay, I will explain some reasons and give examples. Firstly, boxing falls into the category of contact sports therefore specific measures will be performed before and event. An organized governing body will be encouraged to provide training referees and officials, a licensed medical doctor and a medical team on standby in case of emergency. Moreover, recent laws are more strict with injuries and so the concussion protocol is being implemented in any action sports events. For example, in any fights in Las Vegas, Nevada, the Nevada Athletic Commission will be encouraged and strict measures will be sanctioned. Although boxing is considered a risky sports certain ways are being prepared to avoid any catastrophic injuries. On the other hand, boxing provides opportunities for athletes. Meaning to say it helps and save from poverty. People below poverty line cannot afford to have good education, so they take different paths to become athletes, like in boxing, basketball, football and athletics. One best example is Manny Pacquiao, who used to be a fish vendor, but with his resilience he became World Champion in eight different weight classes. Even the nature of the sport is considered bloody and brutal, it can save lives to passionate and hardworking boxers. In conclusion, boxing should still exist today with recent advancements in health care and precautionary measures the authorities performed. Furthermore, it gives better lives to deserving athletes.
Ancient Greece the pioneer of the Olympics included boxing as one of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is
still
in existence. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that boxing is a brutal physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in serious injuries and should not
be practiced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view, I disagree with the statement, boxing is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and should
still
be included
in major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons and give examples.

Firstly
, boxing falls into the category of contact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
therefore
specific measures will
be performed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. An organized governing body will
be encouraged
to provide training referees and officials, a licensed medical doctor and a medical team on standby in case of emergency.
Moreover
, recent laws are more strict with injuries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the concussion protocol is
being implemented
in any action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
For example
, in any fights in Las Vegas, Nevada, the Nevada Athletic Commission will
be encouraged
and strict measures will
be sanctioned
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
boxing
is considered
a risky
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "sport"?
sports
certain ways are
being prepared
to avoid any catastrophic injuries.

On the other hand
, boxing provides opportunities for athletes. Meaning to say it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
and save from poverty.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
below poverty line cannot afford to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
paths to become athletes, like in boxing, basketball, football and athletics. One best example is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Manny
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pacquiao
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a fish vendor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with his resilience he became World Champion in eight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
weight classes. Even the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is considered
bloody and brutal, it can save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to passionate and hardworking boxers.

In conclusion
, boxing should
still
exist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
with recent advancements in health care and precautionary measures the authorities performed.
Furthermore
, it gives better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to deserving athletes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Boxing is a blood sport which often results in physical injury. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in modern age. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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