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Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v.10

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v. 10
Children are the beautiful creation of God, and parents are like gardeners. Children's upbringing is a rewarding and challenging experience. They are like the clay which requires efficient mending and molding. Some sociologists believe that a child's development depends on what he is taught at home, while some analysts believe that it is vital for children to be sent to school. In this essay, I am going to shed some light on the advantages of both methods and then give my opinion. To begin with, parents are the best teachers. The rudiment learnt by children from their parents at home serve as stepping stones to their success. Basic traits like obedience, patience and culture, etc can be taught only at home. Without these qualities, the child fails to obey the teachers even if he goes to the school regularly. Moreover, it is easy to teach a child who is well cultured and polite. Furthermore, few children learn important qualities from their siblings at home. On the other hand, a child's development depends on what he is taught in schools. Firstly, children learn important team building activities in school. Secondly, competition among the peers allows them to excel in their studies. Moreover, children develop socially and academically when they are taught in school. Finally, children gain practical knowledge in school which is very useful for their development. Considering the advantages of being taught at home and at school, I have drawn the conclusion that a child should be taught first at home for basic development; which would help the child excel in schools. However, the child should be taught both at home and at school for complete development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
creation of God, and parents are like gardeners. Children's upbringing is a rewarding and challenging experience. They are like the clay which requires efficient mending and molding.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
sociologists believe that a child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
depends on what he
is taught
at home, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
analysts believe that it is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In this essay, I am going to shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the advantages of both methods and then give my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, parents are the best teachers. The rudiment
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from their parents at home serve as stepping stones to their success. Basic traits like obedience, patience and culture, etc can
be taught
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at home. Without these qualities, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
fails to obey the teachers even if he goes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
regularly
.
Moreover
, it is easy to teach a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
who is well cultured and polite.
Furthermore
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
qualities from their siblings at home.

On the other hand
, a child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
depends on what he
is taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
team building activities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Secondly
, competition among the peers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to excel in their studies.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop
socially
and
academically
when they
are taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
gain practical knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for their development.

Considering the advantages of
being taught
at home and at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I have drawn the conclusion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should
be taught
first
at home for basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
; which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
excel in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should
be taught
both at home and at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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