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bought people closer together others disagree claiming that the internet has made people more isolated.

bought people closer together others disagree claiming that the internet has made people more isolated. ABjgl
The advancement in technology, our world has been changed over the years. It led to the contentious issue of internet whether it is beneficial for our society or not. There by one section of society and that internet proved beneficial, while others argue that it made our lives more sulphate and they forget to interact with others. In my opinion, although it has optimum uses in each section of the society, we can't ignore the precourious side. I would like to discuss why people think so and keep reasons in my subsequent paragraphs To start off with, it makes our life more comfortable and convenient by its usage. Moreover, it helps to communicate with other people, who lives miles away. Beside that, no video calls you can see that particular person and chat with him. It can be done with fraction of seconds. Additionally, due to the sophisticated apps you can even send your voice messages. For instance, WhatsApp, Skype, Google duo etc. It helped them to stay connected. It has plethora of advantages than communication. That's why, People thought it is a positive development which makes everything easy. On the flip side, mostly youngsters, who spent their most of time on chatting. They chat with the persons throughout the day. As a result, they forget the conventional skills of speaking because they rather text to each other. Internet not let them to go outside because of its function. Don't do any physical work, it led to the sedentary lifestyle, which make them obese and create other problems as well. Moreover, they don't interact with their friends detrimental effect on the personality and health. Nevertheless, outdoor activities decline these days because of the internet. Thereby, it is a matter to address as early as possible. To conclude, internet has myriad positive effects like on communication and work; however, we can't neglect its negative side. People need to give attention of their schedule mitigate its bad effects
The advancement in technology, our world has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the years. It led to the contentious issue of internet whether it is beneficial for our society or not. There by one section of society and that internet proved beneficial, while others argue that it made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sulphate and
they forget to interact with others. In my opinion, although it has optimum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
in each section of the society, we can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
precourious
side. I would like to discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
reasons in my subsequent
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
paragraphs


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off with, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our life more comfortable and convenient by its usage.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
miles away. Beside that, no video calls you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that particular person and chat with him. It can
be done
with fraction of seconds.
Additionally
, due to the sophisticated apps you can even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
your voice messages.
For instance
, WhatsApp, Skype, Google duo etc. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them to stay connected. It has plethora of advantages than communication. That's why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
everything easy. On the flip side,
mostly
youngsters, who spent their
Consider using "most time" or "most of the time".
most of time
on chatting. They chat with the persons throughout the day.
As a result
, they forget the conventional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of speaking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
rather
text to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Internet not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them to go outside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its function. Don't do any physical work, it led to the sedentary lifestyle, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them obese and create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
problems
as well
.
Moreover
, they don't interact with their friends detrimental effect on the personality and health.
Nevertheless
, outdoor activities decline these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the internet. Thereby, it is a matter to address as early as possible.
To conclude
, internet has myriad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects like on communication and work;
however
, we can't neglect its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to give attention of their schedule mitigate its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
effects
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IELTS essay bought people closer together others disagree claiming that the internet has made people more isolated.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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