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Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult. v. 3
It is argued by some that, both, the people with inadequate means and the ones that have more than enough find it hard to get admission into a university. I completely disagree with this opinion and think that there are many significant challenges that a poor student faces, which makes it many folds more difficult for him to obtain higher education. First of all, there is no common entrance exam, which leads to filling multiple entrance forms to have a higher chance of acceptance, thus requiring money which a poor student cannot afford. With less means student has to compromise and can only apply for entrance exams that he can afford, decreasing his chances of getting selected, making it tough for a financially deficient student. Secondly, to support the family and their education, impoverished students do odd jobs which gives them less time to prepare for entrance exams. Earning money is essential for students like these to continue their education but spending time doing work that they should be spending studying affects their preparation for getting into college whereas people with enough means do not have to work and can get a tutor to prepare them for exams giving them an upper hand to those who cannot afford to have a tutor or spare time for the same. For instance, a friend of mine who came from a very humble background had to do two shifts a day to support his school and family and in the midst of this could not prepare for the entrance exam. Where others were getting tuitions, he was working and finally ended up not performing well in the entrance test. Thus, having money gives an edge over those who do not have it making it harder for a poor student to get higher education. To conclude, I firmly believe that a poor student has to face several challenges which makes it very difficult for him to get admission into college.
It
is argued
by
some
that, both, the
people
with inadequate means and the ones that have more than
enough
find it
hard
to
get
admission into a university. I completely disagree with this opinion and
think
that there are
many
significant challenges that a
poor
student
faces, which
makes
it
many
folds more difficult for him to obtain higher education.

First of all
, there is no common
entrance
exam, which leads to filling multiple
entrance
forms to have a higher chance of acceptance,
thus
requiring money which a
poor
student
cannot afford. With
less
means
student
has to
compromise and can
only
apply for
entrance
exams that he can afford, decreasing his chances of getting selected, making it tough for a
financially
deficient student.

Secondly
, to support the family and their education, impoverished
students
do odd jobs which gives them less time to prepare for
entrance
exams. Earning money is essential for
students
like these to continue their education
but
spending time doing work that they should be spending studying affects their preparation for getting into college whereas
people
with
enough
means do not
have to
work and can
get
a tutor to prepare them for exams giving them an upper hand to those who cannot afford to have a tutor or spare time for the same.
For instance
, a friend of mine who came from a
very
humble background had to do two shifts a day to support his school and family and in the midst of this could not prepare for the
entrance
exam. Where others were getting
tuitions
, he was working and
finally
ended up not performing well in the
entrance
test
.
Thus
, having money gives an edge over those who do not have it making it harder for a
poor
student
to
get
higher education.

To conclude
, I
firmly
believe that a
poor
student
has to
face several challenges which
makes
it
very
difficult for him to
get
admission into college.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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