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Both parents have equal opportunity in rearing a child

Both parents have equal opportunity in rearing a child VQD83
In early years men are work to earn for their family while women stayed at home rearing the, child but things are differ now both women and men have to work to provide for their family. Due to this I total and completely agree with this statement. I support the statement with the following reasons. First the child is the consequence of love between the two. A child is not choose whether to be born or not. The prosperity of love lead to this, so the parent should have equal responsibilities. For example a women can get pregnant by her self there must be a man. If their together in it they must bare equal responsibilities. Furthermore life is not easy. For a single parent to work, pay the bills and reared the child alone is very difficult and she can failed in fulfill all basic need for a child. For example during my leaning in the best University in the country the fees are so high and it was difficult for my mother to pay it alone and cover other expenses, because there were division of responsibility between my parents I was able to enroll in best University. Final the child can have good model in his life. During study or when choosing a curie a child can have different choice and advise from both parent that than stuck with one choice and experience from one parent. Summing up both parent should participate equal in rearing the child for psychological and physical nourishment of their child.
In early years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are work to earn for their family while women stayed at home rearing
Did you forget something after 'the'?
the,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
things are
Consider using a past participle here: "differed".
differ
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
both women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work to provide for their family. Due to this I total and completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. I support the statement with the following reasons.
First
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is the consequence of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
between the two. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is not
Consider using a past participle here: "chosen".
choose
whether to
be born
or not. The prosperity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
lead to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should have equal responsibilities.
For example
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a woman" or simply "women"?
a women
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pregnant by her self there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
their together in
Consider adding a comma here.
it
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
bare equal responsibilities.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
life is not easy. For a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to work, pay the bills and reared the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
alone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
difficult and
she can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "fail"
failed
in fulfill all basic need for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
For example
during my leaning in the best University in the country the fees are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high and it was difficult for my mother to pay it alone and cover other expenses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there were division of responsibility between my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
I was able to enroll
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the best".
in best
University. Final the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
model in his life. During study or when choosing a curie a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
choice and advise from both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
that than stuck with one choice and experience from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
. Summing up both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should participate equal in rearing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
for psychological and physical nourishment of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
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IELTS essay Both parents have equal opportunity in rearing a child

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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