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Birthdays are special we should celebrate

Birthday has been very special to me. I celebrate my birthday every year myself because I believe that we should appreciate ourselves and our existence. This year I bought a cake from my favourite bakery with my name on it. At 12: 00 am I cutted the cake with my family and everyone wished me birthday. After that my friends wished me birthday, so it was a blissful day with so many wishes. I think everyone should celebrate their birthday because it’s a day when we came to this beautiful world.
Birthday has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
special to me. I celebrate my birthday every year myself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that we should appreciate ourselves and our existence. This year I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a cake from my favourite bakery with my name on it. At 12: 00 am I cutted the cake with my family and everyone wished me birthday. After that my friends wished me birthday,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it was a blissful day with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wishes. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everyone should celebrate their birthday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s a day when we came to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
world.
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IELTS essay Birthdays are special we should celebrate

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
91 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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