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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Provide relevant examples if necessary. 5YAm
It is frequently argued that it is more advantageous to choose a job with a high wage even if you are not comfortable with this job. I completely believe that job satisfaction is vital because you will feel proud of yourself when your goals are achieved and will keep you motivated. On one hand, I believe that job satisfaction gives people a sense of achievement that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high salary, but feels not comfortable, this person will not enjoy his life. While the person who interests in his/her job will always feel satisfied. For example, many famous researchers made their career choices, not in order to appeal to high salary, but because they were passionate about science. That is why it is significant to choose the sort of work that makes you happy. On other hand, doing what you like keeps you motivated and therefore leads to career growth. In other words, there is a strong relationship between job satisfaction and productivity. People who love their jobs can easily excel in their work. To add more, they will achieve better results than those who prefer high salaries and put money first. For instance, my uncle's friend decided to leave his daily job despite a good wage owing to become a writer. And after years of ups and downs, he became one of the most well-known writers in our region. Thus, the advantages of jobs that keep you satisfied outnumber the drawbacks of a low salary. To conclude, I strongly agree that job satisfaction is more beneficial than a high salary because it makes people happy and motivated.
It is
frequently
argued that it is more advantageous to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wage even if you are not comfortable with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I completely believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you will feel proud of yourself when your goals
are achieved
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you motivated.

On one hand, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a sense of achievement that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
feels not comfortable, this person will not enjoy his life.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the person who interests in his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will always feel satisfied.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
researchers made their career choices, not in order to appeal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were passionate about science.
That is
why it is significant to choose the sort of work that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you happy.

On other hand, doing what you like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
you motivated and
therefore
leads to career growth.
In other words
, there is a strong relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and productivity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can
easily
excel in their work. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more, they will achieve better results than those who prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and put money
first
.
For instance
, my uncle's friend decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
his daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
despite a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
wage owing to become a writer. And after years of ups and downs, he became one of the most well-known writers in our region.
Thus
, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you satisfied outnumber the drawbacks of a low salary.

To conclude
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more beneficial than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
happy and motivated.
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IELTS essay Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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