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BENIFITS of drinking water may help others to hydrate body

BENIFITS of drinking water may help others to hydrate body d55Po
To derive a double benefit from anything is considered a bonus, and this is especially the case when discussing leisure activities for children. The idea to fuse both education and entertainment into one activity is a goal of many educators; some would even believe that failure to do this makes the activity pointless. Drawing from examples in Sweden and reviewing games, such as Pokemon, I firmly believe that all activities should have an educational value. Leisure activities are a perfect time to take advantage of the receptiveness in a child’s mind, and some countries are adamant about this. Take Sweden, for example. For many years they have legally stipulated that all children’s toys sold in the country should have some educational value. In addition, for such a rule to be passed it must be upheld by scientific research. Therefore, the advantage of incorporating an education element into toys is scientifically proven. On the other hand, across the UK, children were wasting their time collecting and learning the statistics of each creature on each Pokemon card. If, however, these cards had been intertwined with more educational data the child could have simultaneously gained a more practical education. Due to the child learning large swathes of irrelevant and useless information it can be argued that the time would have been better spent with real facts and figures on the cards. To conclude, scientific evidence from Sweden and fantasy games such as Pokemon with little educational value are two clear reasons why children’s leisure activities should have an element of learning involved.
To derive a double benefit from anything
is considered
a bonus, and this is
especially
the case when discussing leisure
activities
for
children
. The
idea
to fuse both education and entertainment into one
activity
is a goal of
many
educators;
some
would even believe that failure to do this
makes
the
activity
pointless. Drawing from examples in Sweden and reviewing games, such as
Pokemon
, I
firmly
believe that all
activities
should have an
educational
value.

Leisure
activities
are a perfect time to take advantage of the receptiveness in a child’s mind, and
some
countries are adamant about this. Take Sweden,
for example
. For
many
years they have
legally
stipulated that all
children’s
toys sold in the country should have
some
educational
value.
In addition
, for such a
rule
to
be passed
it
must
be upheld
by scientific research.
Therefore
, the advantage of incorporating an education element into toys is
scientifically
proven.

On the other hand
, across the UK,
children
were wasting their time collecting and learning the statistics of each creature on each
Pokemon
card. If,
however
, these cards had
been intertwined
with more
educational
data the child could have
simultaneously
gained a more practical education. Due to the child learning large swathes of irrelevant and useless information it can
be argued
that the time would have been better spent with real facts and figures on the cards.

To conclude
, scientific evidence from Sweden and fantasy games such as
Pokemon
with
little
educational
value are two
clear
reasons why
children’s
leisure
activities
should have an element of learning involved.
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IELTS essay BENIFITS of drinking water may help others to hydrate body

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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