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benefits and drawback of business sport

benefits and drawback of business sport K3r3w
Sport is gradually becoming a business that attracts the investment of many organizations. On the positive side, it not only provides athletes with financial rewards from many sources, including remuneration and advertising sponsorship but also is a tool for companies to communicate their brands. On the negative side, it causes players’ passion for sports to wane, and the pressure of having to win drives them to engage in dishonest activities. Moreover, the sports business also leads to criminal activities such as corruption and gambling. To summarize, the sports business offers more advantages than disadvantages. It also necessitates government regulation to control the bad.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
is
gradually
becoming a business that attracts the investment of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations. On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides athletes with financial rewards from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sources, including remuneration and advertising sponsorship
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
is a tool for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to communicate their brands. On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side, it causes players’ passion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to wane, and the pressure of having to win drives them to engage in dishonest activities.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
business
also
leads to criminal activities such as corruption and gambling.
To summarize
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
business offers more advantages than disadvantages. It
also
necessitates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
regulation to control the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.

IELTS essay benefits and drawback of business sport

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
103 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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