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Advantages and disadvantages of using of video games and computers

Advantages and disadvantages of using of video games and computers xxMP6
Today, a number of human beings are using computers, even if a great deal of school children and teenagers keen on computer games. in fact in the situation has a lot of advantages and disadvantages too. In the essey, I want to explain the problem widely. Firstly, there are beneficial using internet or computer, because they can make easy any kinds of different works belong to technology. Especially, our documents and on-line teaching are being developed by using Internet and computers. Our the minds of our children are being increased in the way. they can use any problems if they come across, they have abilities in using of the different versions of computers. Secondly, video games and computers are entered in our teenagers. They are not bored with them. Children spend their leisure time by using video games. However, our century is technology era, today people keen on computer and game s, as a result it causes some kinds of different problems. first of all, teenagers have a lot of health problems such as inability to see far, spinal disease, it limits physical activity, when we use computers we have to sit in a place without movements. perhaps we can improve our mental abilities but not physical. For these reasons due to illnesses especially children's health. If we look around, we can see a lot of people who wear glasses in order to see far well. But in the past our ancestors did not suffer from the disease. In addition to using of computers and video games make us confuse our minds. In video games lots of war and forcing kill someone, as a result children's opinions Will change Worstly. These videos make children be angry and affect their psychological mind. In conclusion, we should control our children, how they use the internet. if we have chance, we should ban using the video games. If these solutions are taken into an action, we will solve a lot of terrible problems which belongs to our children's lifestyle.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, a number of human beings are using computers, even if a great deal of school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
keen on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
fact in the situation has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of advantages and disadvantages too. In the
Possible spelling mistake found.
essey
, I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
widely
.

Firstly
, there are beneficial using internet or
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "computers"?
computer
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
easy any kinds of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
works belong to technology.

Especially
, our documents and on-line teaching are
being developed
by using Internet and computers. Our the minds of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
being increased
in the way.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across, they have abilities in using of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
versions of computers.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and computers
are entered
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. They are not bored with them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
spend their leisure time by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
games.

However
, our century is technology era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
keen on computer and game s,
as a result
it causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as inability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
far, spinal disease, it limits physical activity, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sit in a place without movements.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
perhaps
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our mental abilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not physical. For these reasons due to illnesses
especially
children's health. If we look around, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who wear glasses in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
far well.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the past our ancestors did not suffer from the disease.
In addition
to using of computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us confuse our minds. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of war and forcing kill someone,
as a result
children's opinions Will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
Possible spelling mistake found.
Worstly
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be angry and affect their psychological mind.

In conclusion
, we should control our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
we have chance, we should ban using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. If these solutions
are taken
into an action, we will solve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of terrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which belongs to our children's lifestyle.
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IELTS essay Advantages and disadvantages of using of video games and computers

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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