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The Position of Women All Around the World

The Position of Women All Around the World Dqp3o
The position of women has evaluated significantly over the past 50 years. The position of woman has changed at home, at work, at hospital and more. A numbers of women have got many rights in election, work and even at home, however, this does not mean everything goes perfect, we still know there are lots of women who are suffering for a driving license and drive a car on the road. Societies have to think that they cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. Women in the societies have fought for many things to take. These societies have various traditional, modern, or even personal rules. Unfortunately, those rules, which must be follow, are mostly about women not men. Years by years women have changed because they studied, learnt, and read. Literally they see what is going on the world. They recognized many things which they do not have in their life therefore the authorities have changed their plans according to the evolution of women. While the position of women were changing, the position of men did not change equally and they still live and stay on the top. For instance, salaries have changed according to the law for women but these rules did not fix for all of us in the salaries so men still get higher than women in the work. The changing of women in different positions apparently seems virtually or just a taking of photos. Indeed, we have some good news on this issue, like Finland, Sweden or Norway have equal pay in the aw for all genders, not only for women but also men, LGBT community and children. On the other hand, the position women are still in process. Considering as a whole, the authorities and NGO's have to take action to do more for all gender equality. If we want to see better then we should ask it for all of us. To sum up, the position of women are getting better even though many societies have not enough to achieve gender equality, however, as people we must follow and ask for our rights to get better live in equal position.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
has evaluated
significantly
over the past 50 years. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
of woman has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
at home, at work, at hospital and more.
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "A number" or simply "numbers"?
A numbers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rights in election, work and even at home,
however
, this does not mean everything goes perfect, we
still
know there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who are suffering for a driving license and drive a car on the road.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Societies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they cannot claim to have achieved gender equality.

Women in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
have fought for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to take. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
have various traditional, modern, or even personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. Unfortunately, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using a past participle here: "followed".
follow
, are
mostly
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. Years by years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they studied,
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
, and read.
Literally
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what is going on the world. They recognized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things which they do not have in their life
therefore
the authorities have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their plans according to the evolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were changing, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
equally and
they
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and stay on the top.
For instance
, salaries have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
according to the law for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
for all of us in the salaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the work. The changing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
apparently
seems
virtually
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a taking of photos.
Indeed
, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
news on this issue, like Finland, Sweden or Norway have equal pay in the aw for all genders, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, LGBT community and children.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
still
in process. Considering as a whole, the authorities and NGO's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take action to do more for all gender equality. If we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Did you mean "better than"?
better then
we should ask it for all of us.

To sum up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are getting better
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to achieve gender equality,
however
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
our rights to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
.
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IELTS essay The Position of Women All Around the World

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
356 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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