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benefit of living in a small communication

benefit of living in a small communication kbnPO
Nowadays, people choose to leave their hometown and move to a big city to work and stay because of many benefits city life has brought to them. So how about living in a small community? What were the advantages and disadvantages to be a part of it? I believe there were 3 mains benefits. Firstly, everyone lives in small village could know their neighborhood well, people would help each other in difficult sittuations. For example, if a guys need to carry something verry heavy to his house, he could receive help from people around him. Secondly, because of the low population, gorvernment can easily control the town, this meant it will be lower crime rate and safer place for people to live. Thirdly, the peaceful and friendly atmostphere in the small commication help people to relax after a busy day
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their hometown and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city to work and stay
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because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits city life has brought to them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
how about living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
community? What were the advantages and disadvantages to be a part of it?

I believe there were 3 mains benefits.
Firstly
, everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village could know their neighborhood well,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other in difficult
Possible spelling mistake found.
sittuations
.
For example
, if
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a guy" or simply "guys"?
a guys
need to carry something
Possible spelling mistake found.
verry
heavy to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, he could receive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around him.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the low population,
Possible spelling mistake found.
gorvernment
can
easily
control the town, this meant it will be
Did you mean "lowed", "lowered"?
lower
crime rate and safer place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Thirdly
, the peaceful and friendly
Possible spelling mistake found.
atmostphere
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Possible spelling mistake found.
commication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to relax after a busy day
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IELTS essay benefit of living in a small communication

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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