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Nowadays young generation do not want to follow the advice of older people and want freedom. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays young generation do not want to follow the advice of older people and want freedom. Gryqg
In the context of globalization and modernization a new issue has sparked up namely "Freedom". Some people believe that they should be given limitless freedom whereas others think that we must remain grounded. In my personal opinion, one must consider the advice of older people but there are some conventional ideas that are totally meaningless in modern times. Firstly, elderly people have a great treasure with them, namely experience, which humans can take advantage of. Their experience based advise can greatly deter someone from commiting serious mistakes in life. Secondly, older people are very social and friendly towards the society around them. Youngsters can learn the same from them as this helps in easing out the troubles of tough phases of life. Lastly, people from past generations can give valuable feedbacks to the youngsters regarding their freedomized actions and their possible consequences. However, there are some traditional concepts that needs to be abandoned as they have no use in modern times. For example, the tradition that a son would follow the career path of his parents is totally useless. Everyone has the proper right to choose their careers. Secondly, the idea of controlling the life of their children's life and taking all the important decisions should be criticized as this hampers their growth. By the way of conclusion, I believe that humans can never grow into a brighter future if they disregard the opinions of the old generation. Although the abandonment of certain ideas is justifiable, they should behave humanly with the elder people and follow their advice to make sure that tendency to commit mistakes is minimized.
In the context of globalization and modernization a new issue has sparked up
namely
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Freedom
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
limitless freedom whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remain grounded. In my personal opinion, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider the advice of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conventional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that are
totally
meaningless in modern times.

Firstly
, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a great treasure with them,
namely
experience, which humans can take advantage of. Their experience based advise can
greatly
deter someone from
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
serious mistakes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Secondly
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
social and friendly towards
Consider using "the surrounding society".
the society around them
. Youngsters can learn the same from them as this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in easing out the troubles of tough phases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from past generations can give valuable feedbacks to the youngsters regarding their
Possible spelling mistake found.
freedomized
actions and their possible consequences.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional concepts that needs to
be abandoned
as they have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in modern times.
For example
, the tradition that a son would follow the career path of his parents is
totally
useless. Everyone has the proper right to choose their careers.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and taking all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions should
be criticized
as this hampers their growth.

By the way of conclusion, I believe that humans can never grow into a brighter future if they disregard the opinions of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation. Although the abandonment of certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
is justifiable, they should behave
humanly
with the elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and follow their advice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that tendency to commit mistakes
is minimized
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays young generation do not want to follow the advice of older people and want freedom.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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