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What advantages can be gained if physical education and sports are made compulsory for students?

What advantages can be gained if physical education and sports are made compulsory for students? 262nJ
Nowadays, when society is developing more and more, to be successful we need to try hard in learning and training at school. Therefore, many students spend most of their time studying and pay little attention to physical activities and sports. Prolonging this situation will have negative effects on students. So what are the advantages if physical education and sports are made compulsory for students? Only by trying hard to study well can we achieve our goals in this developed and competitive world, that’s why studying is the most important thing for students. But just sitting at the desk doing homework all day and not spending time on other activities may cause bad effects on our health. Just studying for a long time will make us feel stressed and depressed. Besides, always looking at books and documents will not be good for our eyes, and may even lead to myopia. Sitting in one place for too long will make our body increasingly weak because of inactivity, which can cause prolonged tiredness or even obesity. There are a lot of students who think that sports are just a personal hobby and physical education is not necessary at school. By the way, how many students would voluntarily do exercise to improve their health if it was not a compulsory subject? Mandating students to play sports at school will help promote everyone’s health, giving them the opportunities to breathe fresh air and be outdoors after being under high pressure of studying. In addition, it also helps each student to meet and interact with their schoolmates, thereby making more relationships and becoming more and more active in daily life. For these reasons, physical education is very necessary at school and all students should be required to play sports as a subject of their core curriculum.
Nowadays, when society is developing more and more, to be successful we need to try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in learning and training at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spend most of their time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Prolonging this situation will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
what are the advantages if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are made
compulsory for students?

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by trying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to study well can we achieve our goals in this developed and competitive world, that’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting at the desk doing homework all day and not spending time on other activities may cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on our health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
for a long time will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and depressed.
Besides
, always looking at books and documents will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for our eyes, and may even lead to myopia. Sitting in one place for too long will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our body
increasingly
weak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of inactivity, which can cause prolonged tiredness or even obesity. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a personal hobby and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education is not necessary at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. By the way, how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
voluntarily
do exercise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health if it was not a compulsory subject? Mandating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
promote everyone’s health, giving them the opportunities to breathe fresh air and be outdoors after being under high pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
.
In addition
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and interact with their schoolmates, thereby making more relationships and becoming more and more active in daily life.

For these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be required
to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as a subject of their core curriculum.
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IELTS essay What advantages can be gained if physical education and sports are made compulsory for students?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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