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Being creative, or careful planning which one will lead to a best solution for a problem, explain details or examples for the same. v.2

Being creative, or careful planning which one will lead to a best solution for a problem, explain details or examples for the same. v. 2
In today’s world, everyone, from a child to an adult is facing some or the other problem. A child is worried about which toy to buy or which cartoon series to watch. On the other hand, an adult person is worried about getting a job or about getting married. The point is, problems are not going to stop and one has to learn how to find a solution to them. And hence, according to me careful planning is the best approach to find a solution to any problem. Most of the times it is observed that people don’t understand what their actual problem is and because of that they face a hard time finding a solution for it. A carefully developed plan will help an individual to understand the problem in a much better way and from different perspectives and will ultimately lead to a much better solution. It is also possible that a problem might have various solutions, but which one is more optimal? Deciding this also a problem. Careful planning allows you to weigh the pros and cons of all possible solutions and thus helps in finding the most suitable solution to a problem. For example, if a company is facing a problem in deciding which from of media to use for advertising their products. To this problem, the senior analyst of the company then presented a carefully developed plan which distinguished all forms of media based on their benefits and limitations. This helped the company to take a decision and now, as a result, their product is flourishing in the market. In conclusion, problems are an inevitable part of one’s life. Instead of cribbing about them, one should take initiative to solve them and the way in which they are tackled is very important. And hence, amongst all the approaches, careful planning is the best or the most suitable one to solve a problem.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, everyone, from a child to an adult is facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
or the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. A child
is worried
about which toy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or which cartoon series to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
On the other hand
, an adult person
is worried
about getting a job or about getting married. The point is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are not going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
and one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
learn how to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to them. And
hence
, according to me careful planning is the best approach to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to any problem.

Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
Most of the times
it
is observed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don’t understand what their actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that they face a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for it. A
carefully
developed plan will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
an individual to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in a much better way and from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives and will
ultimately
lead to a much better solution.

It is
also
possible that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
might have various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
which one is more optimal? Deciding this
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Careful planning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
you to weigh the pros and cons of all possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in finding the most suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
For example
, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is facing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in deciding which from of media to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for advertising their products. To this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, the senior analyst of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
then presented a
carefully
developed plan which distinguished all forms of media based on their benefits and limitations. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to take a decision and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
as a result
, their product is flourishing in the market.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are an inevitable part of one’s life.
Instead
of cribbing about them, one should take initiative to solve them and the way in which they
are tackled
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. And
hence
, amongst all the approaches, careful planning is the best or the most suitable one to solve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Being creative, or careful planning which one will lead to a best solution for a problem, explain details or examples for the same. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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