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Becoming a well-known person, like a popular movie icon or a sports personnel has benefits and drawbacks. Fame can bring enormous success to a person and can change one’s life

Becoming a well-known person, like a popular movie icon or a sports personnel has benefits and drawbacks. Fame can bring enormous success to a person and can change one’s life 8d7ow
Becoming a well-known person, like a popular movie icon or a sports personnel has benefits and drawbacks. Fame can bring enormous success to a person and can change one’s life. Undoubtedly, having fame, success and popularity will bring extremely rewarding benefits to a person. Firstly, it can bring honor to the celebrity’s family. It is a fulfilling feeling to make your parents and loved-ones proud of what you have become. Secondly, unlike an ordinary person who earns normal range of salary becoming an iconic individual will reap the rewards financially. Having said that, this type of profession, such as becoming a movie actor, singer or dancer will have the potential of gaining huge earnings. It is a common notion nowadays, that becoming a celebrity is the easiest way to earn a lot and the short-cut to success. Apart from that, being a sports icon, such as becoming a famous basketball player or tennis enthusiast gives the people the opportunity to earn well. Michael Jordan and Roger Federer are some of the athletes that I know who are successful and have greatly established their careers in the field of basketball and tennis. A lot of people knows who Michael Jordan is. He now has his clothing and shoe line because of his fame, while Roger Federer became one of the iconic models promoting luxury brands such as Lacoste, Gucci and Chanel. Many people want to gain popularity to have a bright and secure future. Famous celebrities and sports athletes are becoming people’s role model nowadays. However, becoming famous isn’t always that beneficial. There are numerous disadvantages that these well-known people encounter. First, they cannot live a normal life. They cannot just simply go to public places like for instance malls and bars because people will come after them to ask for a picture or auto-graph. It’s difficult to enjoy going-out when public people admire you, unless, they make a booking or reservation in a high-end place to avoid the crowd. Second, being a public figure means that your life will be an open-book to the normal crowd. Gossip is rampant everywhere. It will be a normal for people to talk about your life and having privacy is quite difficult. Also, one must be prepared to encounter bashers, haters, and bullies. If an individual is famous it doesn’t mean that person can please everybody. So, one must be prepared for all these types of dilemmas. Depression is another issue that many acclaimed people encounter. A good example of this is the famous singer, namely, Kurt Cobain who committed suicide in the 90’s because fame was too much for him to handle. This is the main reason why many famous individuals feel unhappy and empty even if they are successful and rich. To sum up, whilst being famous brings benefits and drawbacks. I strongly believe that the benefits outweighs the problems. It’s just a matter of handling a person’s fame in a well-balanced and harmonious way.
Becoming a well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, like a popular movie icon or a sports personnel has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and drawbacks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fame
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
enormous success to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
one’s life.

Undoubtedly
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
, success and popularity will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
extremely
rewarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
Firstly
, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
honor to the celebrity’s family. It is a fulfilling feeling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
-ones proud of what you have become.
Secondly
, unlike an ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
earns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
range of salary becoming an iconic individual will reap the rewards
financially
. Having said that, this type of profession, such as becoming a movie actor, singer or dancer will have the potential of gaining huge earnings. It is a common notion nowadays, that becoming a celebrity is the easiest way to earn a lot and the short-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
to success. Apart from that, being a sports icon, such as becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
basketball player or tennis enthusiast gives the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the opportunity to earn well. Michael Jordan and Roger Federer are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
athletes that I know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are successful and have
greatly
established their careers in the field of basketball and tennis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
knows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Michael Jordan is. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has his clothing and shoe line
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
, while Roger Federer became one of the iconic models promoting luxury brands such as Lacoste, Gucci and Chanel.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to gain popularity to have a bright and secure future.
Consider using "celebrities".
Famous celebrities
and sports athletes are becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
role model nowadays.

However
, becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
isn’t always that beneficial. There are numerous disadvantages that these well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encounter.
First
, they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
life. They cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
simply
go to public places like
for instance
malls and bars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
after them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a picture or auto-graph. It’s difficult to enjoy going-out when public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
admire you, unless, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a booking or reservation in a high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
place to avoid the crowd. Second, being a public figure means that your life will be an open-book to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
crowd. Gossip is rampant everywhere. It will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to talk about your life and having privacy is quite difficult.
Also
, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be prepared
to encounter
Possible spelling mistake found.
bashers
, haters, and bullies.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
an individual is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
it doesn’t mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
everybody.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be prepared
for all these types of dilemmas. Depression is another issue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
acclaimed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encounter. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
singer,
namely
, Kurt Cobain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
committed suicide in the
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "90s".
90’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
was too much for him to handle. This is the main reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
individuals feel unhappy and empty even if they are successful and rich.

To sum up, whilst being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and drawbacks. I
strongly
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
outweighs the problems. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a matter of handling a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fame
in a well-balanced and harmonious way.
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IELTS essay Becoming a well-known person, like a popular movie icon or a sports personnel has benefits and drawbacks. Fame can bring enormous success to a person and can change one’s life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
493 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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