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Because travel cost getting cheaper more countries trying to attract more tourists.Does the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Because travel cost getting cheaper more countries trying to attract more tourists. Does the advantages outweigh disadvantages? NwnGq
Most people argued that travel cost getting lower, more countries seeking to attract more foreigners. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of declining travel cost and attracting tourists. It is important to say that, there are number of advantages of falling travel price in more countries lead to growth countries economy as well as number of new job openings for local people. Fristly, in most countries travel cost is higher, so most local people are not able to go overseas countries. If they decline price they are able to attact more tourist than ever before. As the result of it, they boost their economy. Because, tourists spend money on a wide range of services including hotels, amusements, transportations and so on. Without any doubt if tourists rate is increase economic income will also rise. Secondly affordable travelling assist to most countries to supply their local habitant with new job. Hovewer, increasing tourists cause to crowded condition in most depeloping countries as well as destruction of popular tourist destination. Because, sometimes rising tourists rate lead to illegal economic activities such criminals. In addition, ancient buildings monuments struggle to cope with a vast amount visitor's traffic and get damagedTo conclude although tourism has certain drawbacks like destructive effects and growth illegal activities it has an extreme advantages and impact on countries economy and provide a large number of new job for local people and I believe that, these benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
cost getting lower, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
seeking to attract more foreigners. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of declining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
cost and attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to say that, there are number of advantages of falling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
price in more
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countries
lead to growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
economy
as well
as number of new job openings for
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local
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people
.
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Fristly
, in most
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countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
cost is higher,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most
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local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to go overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. If they decline price they are able to
Possible spelling mistake found.
attact
more
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tourist
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. As the result of it, they boost their economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
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tourists
spend money on a wide range of services including hotels, amusements, transportations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Without any doubt if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
rate is increase economic income will
also
rise.
Secondly
affordable travelling assist to most
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countries
to supply their
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local
habitant with new job.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hovewer
, increasing
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tourists
cause to crowded condition in most
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depeloping
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countries
as well
as destruction of popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destination.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
rate lead to illegal economic activities such criminals.
In addition
, ancient buildings monuments struggle to cope with a vast amount visitor's traffic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
damagedTo
conclude although tourism has certain drawbacks like destructive effects and growth illegal activities it has an extreme advantages and impact on
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countries
economy and provide
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
new job for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and I believe that, these benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Because travel cost getting cheaper more countries trying to attract more tourists. Does the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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