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In the past, children spent their leisure time playing outside with their friends, whereas today they spend most of the leisure time inside playing computer games or watching tv. Parents and schools do more to encourage children to play as they did in the past, since the current situation is unhealthy. To what extent do you agree with this statement.

In the past, children spent their leisure time playing outside with their friends, whereas today they spend most of the leisure time inside playing computer games or watching tv. Parents and schools do more to encourage children to play as they did in the past, since the current situation is unhealthy. paDxD
Play is the vital characteristic that is common in everyday child's life. "Children learn as they play. Most importantly, in play children learn how to learn. ", said by O. Fred Donaldson. The significance of play helps in encouraging inventiveness and developing a child's mind. I completely agree on this, children now days spent their spare time inside playing video games or watching something on mobile rather than playing outside with their friends. In former times, when they used to play outside, it used to motivate and offer children the freedom to explore. At that time, a infant used to think, create, imagine, communicate, make choices, solve problems, take risks, build physical skills and develop a social sense. Whereas, today we live in changing times and the generation have diverted their mind towards modern technology. The focus has been shifted towards playing computer games or watching a program, later which may cause a severe consequences for their health and overall well being. Nearly extended towards such a level that children have forgotten the importance of play. Currently, parent's are busy mending their own life's that they fall to remember about their little one's. As we look, the major role is of a parent to make their child's upbringing in such a way that they learn to work in groups, share, resolve disputes and advocate for themselves. The school should inspire kids into extra curricular activities for the growth of the child. In conclusion, I believe that somehow the value and seriousness of play has been lost over the last decades. Child's physical, emotional, social and intellectual development is negotiated now days. So, lets make assure that children have a healthy experience of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Play
is the vital characteristic
that is
common in everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
life.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
. Most
importantly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
, said by O. Fred Donaldson. The significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in encouraging inventiveness and developing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
mind. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
days spent their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
inside playing video games or watching something on mobile
rather
than playing outside with their friends. In former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
outside, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to motivate and offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the freedom to explore. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
infant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, create, imagine, communicate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
choices, solve problems, take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, build physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and develop a social sense. Whereas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and the generation have diverted their mind towards modern technology. The focus has
been shifted
towards playing computer games or watching a program, later which may cause a severe
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "consequence"?
consequences
for their health and
overall
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
Nearly
extended towards such a level that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have forgotten the importance of play.

Currently
,
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
parent's
are busy mending their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life's that they fall to remember about their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
one's. As we look, the major role is of a parent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
upbringing in such a way that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to work in groups, share, resolve disputes and advocate for themselves. The school should inspire kids into
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
activities for the growth of the child.

In conclusion
, I believe that somehow the value and seriousness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
has
been lost
over the last decades.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Child's
physical, emotional, social and intellectual development
is negotiated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
assure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a healthy experience of life.
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IELTS essay In the past, children spent their leisure time playing outside with their friends, whereas today they spend most of the leisure time inside playing computer games or watching tv. Parents and schools do more to encourage children to play as they did in the past, since the current situation is unhealthy.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • In the past, children spent their leisure time playing outside with their friends, whereas today they spend most of the leisure time inside playing computer games or watching tv. Parents and schools do more to encourage children to play as they did in the past, since the current situation is unhealthy. To what extent do you agree with this statement.