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Some people believe that playing in teams is benefical wheras other says that individual sport is benefical discuss both view with your opinion

Some people believe that playing in teams is benefical wheras other says that individual sport is benefical discuss both view with your opinion Qlnkb
Some people argue that playing team sports provides people with more benefits as opposed to participating in individual sports. Personally, I believe that both types of sports can provide a range of benefits to people, and it depends on what benefits each individual wishes to achieve as to which sport they should choose to play. On the one hand, team sports, such as football and basketball, provide a number of benefits to those who play. For example, team sports give players the opportunity to develop interpersonal skills, like teamwork and communication skills, which will not only help people in their day-to-day social interactions but also benefit them in their workplace. In addition, team sports also offer players the chance to develop a sense of unity, friendship, and sportsmanship between teammates, which can really add value to people’s lives by making them feel a part of something. On the other hand, individual sports, like tennis and swimming, also have their merits. When someone plays an individual sport, it usually gives them more opportunities to enhance their personal skills, such as being able to manage emotions, cope with stress, and build confidence and self-esteem. When people are playing an individual sport, they usually have no one else to rely on for support during the game or match, and therefore, individuals will need to develop a strong mindset to be able to deal with and overcome any setbacks they may face. Individual sports also provide better opportunities for people to challenge themselves by setting goals and achieving personal bests. Overall, I feel that all sports offer great benefits for people’s mental and physical health, and that people should choose whatever sport they are most interested in playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
argue that playing
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team
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sports
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provides
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people
with more
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benefits
as opposed to participating in
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individual
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sports
.
Personally
, I believe that both types of
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sports
can
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provide
a range of
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benefits
to
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people
, and it depends on what
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benefits
each
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individual
wishes to achieve as to which
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sport
they should choose to play.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, such as football and basketball,
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provide
a number of
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benefits
to those who play.
For example
,
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team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
give players the opportunity to develop interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, like teamwork and communication
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skills
, which will not
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only
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help
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people
in their day-to-day social interactions
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but
also
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benefit
them in their workplace.
In addition
,
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team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
also
The word 'offer' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
offer
players the chance to develop a sense of unity, friendship, and sportsmanship between teammates, which can
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
value to
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people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by making them feel a part of something.

On the other hand
,
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individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, like tennis and swimming,
also
have their merits. When someone plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, it
usually
gives them more opportunities to enhance their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as being able to manage emotions, cope with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, and build confidence and self-esteem. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are playing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, they
usually
have no one else to rely on for support during the game or match, and
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
will need to develop a strong mindset to be able to deal with and overcome any setbacks they may face.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
better opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to challenge themselves by setting goals and achieving personal bests.

Overall
, I feel that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
The word 'offer' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
offer
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mental and physical health, and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
they are most interested in playing
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IELTS essay Some people believe that playing in teams is benefical wheras other says that individual sport is benefical discuss both view with your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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