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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Its absolutely true that world has been changing so rapidly. People are busier to compete the marathon of the world in which they forgot their own happiness and inner-satisfaction. On the contrary, people were more struggling in the past when technology was not advanced and they did great efforts to survive in the society. They had no leisure time to spend for themselves due to the burden of their routinely heavy duty. If I suppose to choose, I am disagree with the statement due to the fact that no doubt, people are more busy in their daily life but they enjoy more life than before people used to be. I will provide reasons in the following paragraphs. To begin with, It is totally unconvincing that people are less happy in these days because I believe, in fact everybody have opportunity to make themselves happy. There are so many new inventions, which made life definitely comfortable and enjoyable. For instance, advancement in the travel industry brings possibility to travel different parts of the world. Which could not be possible in the past, even facing major troubles; if they had to go in other places. Now a day, people use to plan their happy holiday in their dream place. That is why, I disagree that persons are less happy or less satisfied in these days than in the past. Second, people gradually start to financial stable day- by-day. Therefore, it is fact, when person financially stabilize, they tend to think for enjoyable events such as music concerts, watching movie with friends and plan world tour with family or friend to enjoy their life. If I assume two to three decades ago, It is almost impossible to plan happy holiday because of financially not affordable for many people. However, if we compare now, there is drastic change in the number of ways. Furthermore, one person in the family had to do job and take whole responsibility of the family but now as you grow- up, you have to take your own responsibility. That is why, more members of the family earning and can afford the expenses of travel and accommodation to enjoy their life according to their own wish. In conclusion, I am unconvinced with the idea that people are not happy and satisfied than in the past. I believe that availabilities of many options to spend time effectively and happily is much easier recent age than in the past.
Did you mean “it’s” (short for ‘it is’) instead of ‘its’ (possessive pronoun)?
Its
absolutely
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has been changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rapidly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are busier to compete the marathon of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in which they forgot their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
happiness and inner-satisfaction.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were more struggling in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
when technology was not
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advanced and
they did great efforts to survive in the society. They had no leisure time to spend for themselves due to the burden of their
routinely
heavy duty. If I suppose to choose, I am disagree with the statement due to the fact that no doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more busy in their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they enjoy more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be. I will provide reasons in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, It is
totally
unconvincing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
in these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe, in fact everybody
The pronoun ‘everybody’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “has”, “had”.
have
opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new inventions, which made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
definitely comfortable and enjoyable.
For instance
, advancement in the travel industry brings possibility to travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Which could not be possible in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, even facing major troubles; if they had to go in other places.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Make sure that ‘use to’ is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean ‘accustomed to’, use “used to”.
use to
plan their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
holiday in their dream place.
That is
why, I disagree that persons are less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
or less satisfied in these days than in the past.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to financial stable day- by-day.
Therefore
, it is fact, when person
financially
stabilize, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
for enjoyable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as music concerts, watching movie with friends and plan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
tour with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or friend to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If I assume two to three decades ago, It is almost impossible to plan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
holiday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
financially
not affordable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, if we compare
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, there is drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the number of ways.
Furthermore
, one person in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
had to do job and take whole responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as you grow- up, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibility.
That is
why, more members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
earning and can afford the expenses of travel and accommodation to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wish.

In conclusion
, I
am unconvinced
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and satisfied than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. I believe that availabilities of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options to spend time
effectively
and
happily
is much easier recent age than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
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IELTS essay Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
407 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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