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Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior, other disagree and think that host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Due to increase in people choosing to travel to different countries these days there is a lot of local customs, rituals, & behavior that people come across & get to see them closely. While following those local customs in their own countries has been a controversial topic of discussion. This essay will discuss why some people question about following them and some people don't. Customs, traditions and behaviors are the essence of any cultures and they are also the identity of a city or a state. They are meant to be followed properly as per traditions since it can hurt anyone's feelings. For example, people who come to India from different countries like USA and UK often go to Varanasi for giving final rites on the banks of the river Ganges. If they don't follow proper rituals, they might upset the priest and local people who are watching them. Therefore if the tourist don't follow about the local rituals & behavior they should not think of practicing them. A tourist or a globetrotter often visit to different countries for getting an experience or to be inspired from cultures around the world. They often take an experience along with the souvenirs they bought from different countries. That experience makes the world a global center for exchange of different cultures and countrymen of different countries more welcoming for all. For example, the 'Namaste' word along with joining the palms of their hands for saying 'welcome' or 'thankyou'. So many counties follow it even though it is indigenous to Indian culture. Therefore, I think that the host countries should welcome all cultural backgrounds of different countries. In conclusion, we discussed that whether tourists should follow different customs/ behavior or only the host country should follow only all cultural differences that they find in other countrymen. I think that since the world is increasingly becoming global rather than local. So, the customs & traditions should travel by word of mouth, but they should follow in proper manner.
Due to increase in
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people
choosing to travel to
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different
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countries
these days there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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local
customs, rituals, &
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behavior
that
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across &
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them
closely
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
following those
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local
customs in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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countries
has been a controversial topic of discussion. This essay will discuss why
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some
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people
question about following them and
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some
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people
don't.

Customs, traditions and
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behaviors
are the essence of any
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cultures and
they are
also
the identity of a city or a state. They
are meant
to
be followed
properly
as per traditions since it can hurt anyone's feelings.
For example
,
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to India from
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
A determiner is probably missing here: “like the USA”.
like USA
and UK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go to Varanasi for giving final rites on the banks of the river Ganges. If they don't
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follow
proper rituals, they might upset the priest and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
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people
who are watching them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
if the tourist don't
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follow
about the
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local
rituals &
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behavior
they should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of practicing them.

A tourist or a globetrotter
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often
visit to
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different
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countries
for getting an experience or to
be inspired
from
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cultures
around the world. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take an experience along with the souvenirs they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. That experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the world a global center for exchange of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and countrymen of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
more welcoming for all.
For example
, the 'Namaste' word along with joining the palms of their hands for saying 'welcome' or '
Possible spelling mistake found.
thankyou
'.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
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many
counties
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follow
it
even though
it is indigenous to Indian
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culture
.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the host
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countries
should welcome all cultural backgrounds of
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different
countries.

In conclusion
, we discussed that whether tourists should
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follow
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different
customs/
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behavior
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the host
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country
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
all cultural differences that they find in other countrymen. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that since the world is
increasingly
becoming global
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the customs & traditions should travel by word of mouth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
in proper manner.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior, other disagree and think that host country should welcome cultural differences.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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