Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Because the future will be dominated by technology we must make four years of computer programming mandatory for all high school students If our students take these classes they ll all be able to get high paying programming jobs and lead fulfilling lives

Because the future will be dominated by technology we must make four years of computer programming mandatory for all high school students If our students take these classes they ll all be able to get high paying programming jobs and lead fulfilling lives OVwQE
The argument is flawed for numerous reasons. Primarily, the argument is not cogent because it assumes that technology will dominate the future but has not provide any evidence on this fact and hence not valid. The entire argument is based on the idea that technology is going to dominate the future to come. But it is difficult to understand the way in which direction the future will go. For example, people living in the period of agricultural era may have though that agriculture would always thrive and hence they wanted to teach their successors about the very basic of agriculture. But industrialization supplanted agriculture based society as did technology replaced industrialization. So how can it not be said that in the near future another topic is going to rule other than technology? However, the argument casts generalization about the study curriculum of students. But by birth the understanding capacity of children varies. There may be some students who are not good at math and logic but humanity related subjects attract them. If the curriculum enjoins them to pursue their education on computer programming it is crystal clear that they are not going to be succeed. So generalization on study curriculum is a flawed idea. Again the argument assumes that after completing the computer course students are going to get high-paying programming jobs. But the term high-paying is vague for the fact that it can be true that a programmer, for example, makes an amount of one thousand USD monthly. However, the median earning of all people in that certain region is over one million USD. So had the argument discussed in details about the median value of the income only then the argument would be more valid. Again, mere theoretical education doesn't guarantee that a student will be successful as a programmer because successful in a particular career depends on a number of things such as: communication skill, ability to work in a group. However, the argument assumes that software related jobs will thrive the job sector in the near future but it is possible to occur a recession and this economical downfall may shrink the job sectors of software engineers and data scientists. The argument assumes that programming is needed in every aspect of life and hence the education of programming is going to be beneficial, which is not true. For example, a civil engineer who designs building should have the knowledge of basic structural analysis and reinforced concrete. It is true that he will use some soft wares while designing but it is not necessary that he should have the very concept how the software runs, how the core programming is done. The argument is flawed for some unwarranted assumptions it make.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is flawed
for numerous reasons.
Primarily
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is not cogent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will dominate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "provided".
provide
any evidence on this fact and
hence
not valid.

The entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is based
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is going to dominate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is difficult to understand the way in which direction the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will go.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the period of agricultural era may have though that agriculture would always thrive and
hence
they wanted to teach their successors about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
basic of agriculture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
industrialization supplanted agriculture based society as did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
replaced industrialization.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
how can it not
be said
that in the near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
another topic is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
other than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
?
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
casts generalization about the study curriculum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
by birth the understanding capacity of children varies. There may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at math and logic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
humanity related subjects attract them.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the curriculum enjoins them to pursue their education on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that they are not going to be
Consider using a past participle here: "succeeded".
succeed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
generalization on study curriculum is a flawed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Again the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumes
that after completing the computer course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the term high-paying is vague for the fact that it can be true that a programmer,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an amount of one thousand USD monthly.
However
, the median earning of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in that certain region is over one million USD.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
discussed in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the median value of the income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
would be more valid. Again, mere theoretical education doesn't guarantee that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will be successful as a programmer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
successful in a particular career depends on a number of things such as: communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, ability to work in a group.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumes
that software related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will thrive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
sector in the near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is possible to occur a recession and this economical downfall may shrink the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
sectors of software engineers and data scientists.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assumes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
is needed
in every aspect of life and
hence
the education of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
is going to be beneficial, which is not true.
For example
, a civil engineer who designs building should have the knowledge of basic structural analysis and reinforced concrete. It is true that he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
soft wares while designing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not necessary that he should have the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
concept how the software runs, how the core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programming
is done
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is flawed
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unwarranted assumptions it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Because the future will be dominated by technology we must make four years of computer programming mandatory for all high school students If our students take these classes they ll all be able to get high paying programming jobs and lead fulfilling lives

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
454 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Because the future will be dominated by technology we must make four years of computer programming mandatory for all high school students If our students take these classes they ll all be able to get high paying programming jobs and lead fulfilling lives