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Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium substances essential for building and maintaining bones Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis a disease that is linked to both environmental and

Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium substances essential for building and maintaining bones Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis a disease that is linked to both environmental and XG7R8
It is stated in prompt that consuming dairy product also cause osteoporosis, according to result mention, it can be conclude that diet rich in dairy product may increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis. Additionally they bolster the claim by enticing towards the study force to dilapidate the fact stated by people that diet rich in dairy product can prevent osteoporosis. To begin with, have they considered persons health history before calming? We should understand the requirements of body. How much calcium and vitamin D one should consume to avoid osteoporosis? Because requirements of calcium and vitamins differ from one person to another. According to research it is proved that calcium is required to make our bones strong. Maybe, person who is suffering from osteoporosis is consuming a lot of dairy product. Consuming lot of dairy product increases calcium level in our body and it is blatant that if body absorb calcium more than it required it will make bone hard and it will easily break. Secondly, have they considered other dietary supplements or food person is consuming? Other diet also matter only consuming dairy product will not solve the problem of osteoporosis. What if a person is consuming other food is large amount than dairy product which accelerates the rate of osteoporosis? In this case person will surely suffer from osteoporosis and he/she will conclude that dairy product don’t prevent osteoporosis. If this happens to be true than conclusion drawn from the prompt that dairy product increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis doesn’t hold any water. Finally, have they considered day to day activities of a person? If a person is involved in any hard working physical activity like playing soccer, weight lifting or playing ruby he or she will more likely to have fracture once or twice in his/her courier. If this is the case than one cannot blame on dairy products, saying that in spite of consuming lots of dairy product person is still suffering from osteoporosis. In conclusion, it is not apt to draw the conclusion that consuming diet rich in dairy products cause osteoporosis before answering all question mention above.
It
is stated
in prompt that consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
also
cause osteoporosis, according to result mention, it can be
Consider using the past participle "concluded"?
conclude
that diet rich in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
may increase,
rather
than decrease, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of osteoporosis.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
they bolster the claim by enticing towards the study force to
Possible spelling mistake found.
dilapidate
the fact stated by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that diet rich in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
osteoporosis.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, have they considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
health history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
calming? We should understand the requirements of body. How much calcium and vitamin D one should consume to avoid osteoporosis?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
requirements of calcium and vitamins differ from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to another. According to research it
is proved
that calcium
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our bones strong. Maybe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who is suffering from osteoporosis is consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Consuming
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
increases calcium level in our body and it is blatant that if body absorb calcium more than it required it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
bone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and it will
easily
break.

Secondly
, have they considered other dietary supplements or food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is consuming? Other diet
also
matter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will not solve the problem of osteoporosis. What if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is consuming other food is large amount than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which accelerates the rate of osteoporosis?
In this case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will
surely
suffer from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
osteoporosis and
he/she will conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
osteoporosis. If this happens to be
Use "truer" to make a comparison with this adjective.
true
than conclusion drawn from the prompt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
increase,
rather
than decrease, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of osteoporosis doesn’t hold any water.

Finally
, have they considered day to day activities of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
? If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is involved
in any
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
physical activity like playing soccer, weight lifting or playing ruby he or she will more likely to have fracture once or twice in his/her courier. If this is the case than one cannot blame on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, saying that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
consuming lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
still
suffering from osteoporosis.

In conclusion
, it is not apt to draw the conclusion that consuming diet rich in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
cause osteoporosis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
answering all question mention above.
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IELTS essay Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium substances essential for building and maintaining bones Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis a disease that is linked to both environmental and

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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