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The following is a petition to the city council of Centerville Over the past three years there has been a marked increase in cases of sidewalk rage similar to the irrational anger drivers experience on the road but instead among sidewalk walkers The resul

The following is a petition to the city council of Centerville Over the past three years there has been a marked increase in cases of sidewalk rage similar to the irrational anger drivers experience on the road but instead among sidewalk walkers The resul jRDw1
A petition to the city council of Centerville states that banning cell phone use on sidewalks is the only way to address 'sidewalk rage'. The petition argues that usage of cell phones leads to collisions amongst people, especially children who are too short to be seen. It also states that a similar ban was imposed in Middletown, which led to reduced sidewalk crime rates and zero complaints. The vailidty of the argument presented by the petition is subject to the availability of three key evidences. Firstly, it needs to be clarified whether cell phones are the only cause of sidewalk rage in Centervill. It is possible that sidewalks in Centerville are in bad condition, and this forces commuters to take tortuous paths along the sidewalk. This extra effort to walk can increase the annoyance of pedestrians. Another possible explanation is that sidewalks are too small to accomadate all the commuters, which in turn leads to many more people bumping into one another. If either of the above are true, the conclusion drawn by the petition is weakened. Secondly, the petition needs to make clear in what ways are the sidewalks in Middletown and Centerville the same. The petition prematurely assumes that the environment in Middletown and Centerville are similiar, and a similar ban to that in Middletown will solve the crisis in Centerville. However, this might not be the case. Perhaps sidewalks in Centerville are generally used by gang members and the major reason for sidewalk rage is a dispute between the gang members. In such a case banning mobile phones would not have any significant difference to the situation in Centerville. Another factor which the petition needs to address, is the reliability of reports that indicate the reduction in sidewalk crime. It is possible that the report is an informal account by an official who monitored the region for a very short period of time during which the sidewalk was not used a lot. Furthermore, the report could have been taken during the holiday season, during which the majority of the residents of Middletown go on vacation. In either case the reliability of the reports comes into scrutiny, and thus casting doubt on the argument presented by the petition. In conclusion, the argument presented by the petition as it stands is flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the petition provides the above mentioned evidences, only then is it possible to fully evaluate the validity of the argument.
A
petition
to the city council of
Centerville
states that banning cell
phone
use
on
sidewalks
is the
only
way to address 'sidewalk rage'. The
petition
argues that usage of cell
phones
leads to collisions amongst
people
,
especially
children who are too short to be
seen
. It
also
states that a similar ban
was imposed
in Middletown, which led to
reduced
sidewalk
crime rates and zero complaints. The
vailidty
of the
argument
presented by the
petition
is subject to the availability of three key evidences.

Firstly
, it needs to
be clarified
whether cell
phones
are the
only
cause of
sidewalk
rage in
Centervill
. It is
possible
that
sidewalks
in
Centerville
are in
bad
condition, and this forces commuters to take tortuous paths along the
sidewalk
. This extra effort to walk can increase the annoyance of pedestrians. Another
possible
explanation is that
sidewalks
are too
small
to
accomadate
all the commuters, which in turn leads to
many
more
people
bumping into one another. If either of the above are true, the conclusion drawn by the
petition
is weakened
.

Secondly
, the
petition
needs to
make
clear
in what ways are the
sidewalks
in Middletown and
Centerville
the same. The
petition
prematurely
assumes that the environment in Middletown and
Centerville
are
similiar
, and a similar ban to that in Middletown will solve the crisis in
Centerville
.
However
, this might not be the case. Perhaps
sidewalks
in
Centerville
are
generally
used
by gang members and the major reason for
sidewalk
rage is a dispute between the gang members. In such a case banning mobile
phones
would not have any significant difference to the situation in
Centerville
.

Another factor which the
petition
needs to address, is the reliability of
reports
that indicate the reduction in
sidewalk
crime. It is
possible
that the
report
is an informal account by an official who monitored the region for a
very
short period of time during which the
sidewalk
was not
used
a lot.
Furthermore
, the
report
could have
been taken
during the holiday season, during which the majority of the residents of Middletown go on vacation. In either case the reliability of the
reports
comes
into scrutiny, and
thus
casting doubt on the
argument
presented by the petition.

In conclusion
, the
argument
presented by the
petition
as it stands
is flawed
due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the
petition
provides the above mentioned evidences,
only
then is it
possible
to
fully
evaluate the validity of the
argument
.
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IELTS essay The following is a petition to the city council of Centerville Over the past three years there has been a marked increase in cases of sidewalk rage similar to the irrational anger drivers experience on the road but instead among sidewalk walkers The resul

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
412 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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