Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Our work proves to be very successful. In the past three years, each of our five clients hasexperienced the fastest growth of sales in their history. Therefore, if your company meetsmanagement problems, do not hesitate to call Sigma, since we are the best

Our work proves to be very successful. In the past three years, each of our five clients hasexperienced the fastest growth of sales in their history. Therefore, if your company meetsmanagement problems, do not hesitate to call Sigma, since we are the best aw7xd
The argument that Sigma' consultancy is very successful is based on the unprecedented performance of Sigma's past five clients. The author tried to convey that Sigma's consulting helped its clients increasing their business volume. While the line of reasoning is somewhat persuasive, it committed the Insufficient Sample Fallacy and therefore is logically not sound. First of all, the argument commits the Insufficient Sample Faulty. The author made conclusion that its clients achieved the greatest increase in sales by illustrating only five of their clients. It is possible that the majority of their clients did not experience the mentioned growth of sales. So, the author should address more clients so as to generate the conclusion for its success of consulting job. Second, the author made a wrong comparison. When the arguer tried to prove that their clients performed better than other companies, he committed an even more serious fallacy by comparing its current performance with historical performance. Rather, the author should compare its clients' performance with that of other companies. Finally, the argument potentially assumed that the consultancy is the only factor that determines the success of its clients. Actually, it may be other factors that constitute to the success of these five clients. For example, the board of directors just reappointed a new CEO who has proved successful in his past years of managing career and possess resourceful experience in this kind of industry. Without eliminating other factors, the argument is not sound. Moreover, even if Sigma really proves successful to help its clients in regain wonderful sales history, it does not guarantee its superiority of solving management problems since management is only one of the functions that a company daily encounter and a consulting company can help to solve. In sum, the argument is neither sound nor convincing since it overlooks many possibilities that must be addressed to strengthen its statement. If it included the items described above, it may be more strong or persuasive.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
that Sigma' consultancy is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful
is based
on the unprecedented

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
performance
of Sigma's past five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clients
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
tried to convey that Sigma's
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
consulting


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
helped
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clients
increasing their business volume.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the line of reasoning is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
somewhat


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
persuasive
, it committed the Insufficient Sample Fallacy and
therefore
is
logically
not sound.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
commits the Insufficient Sample Faulty. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
made
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
conclusion


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clients
achieved the greatest increase in sales by illustrating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
five of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clients
. It
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
possible
that the majority of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clients
did not experience the mentioned growth of sales.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the

author should address more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clients
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
generate the conclusion for its success of consulting

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
job
.

Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
made a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
comparison.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
the arguer tried to prove that their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
clients


performed better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, he committed an even more serious fallacy by comparing

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
performance with historical performance.
Rather
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
should compare its clients'

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
performance
with that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
potentially
assumed that the consultancy is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor that determines

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
success of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clients
. Actually, it may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors that constitute to the success of these

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clients
.
For example
, the board of directors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
reappointed a new CEO who has
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
proved


successful in his past years of managing career and possess resourceful experience in this kind

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
industry. Without eliminating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is not sound.
Moreover
, even if Sigma

really
proves successful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clients
in regain wonderful sales history, it does not guarantee

its superiority of solving management problems since management is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one of the functions

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
daily encounter and a consulting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to solve.

In sum, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is neither sound nor convincing since it overlooks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possibilities that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
must
be addressed
to strengthen its statement. If it included the items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above, it may
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
be


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
more
strong or persuasive.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Our work proves to be very successful. In the past three years, each of our five clients hasexperienced the fastest growth of sales in their history. Therefore, if your company meetsmanagement problems, do not hesitate to call Sigma, since we are the best

Essay
  American English
24 paragraphs
326 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Our work proves to be very successful. In the past three years, each of our five clients hasexperienced the fastest growth of sales in their history. Therefore, if your company meetsmanagement problems, do not hesitate to call Sigma, since we are the best