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Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? Because people are busy doing so many different things, they do very few things well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Because people are busy doing so many different things, they do very few things well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. n2qn
Nowadays, we live in a fast-paced world with a lot of information and facilities, which means we have access to a lot of sources and devices, while we don't have adequate time for getting familiar with the world around us. Personally, I believe people fail to master a skill because they do a plethora of various things in a short period and simultaneously. I feel this way for three chief reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First, being a master in any field needs persistence. To be more specific, we should train more and more for a long time to fully learn an ability. For example, last year, I wanted to study english language, and I worked 8 hours a day; in addition, I registered for a classical guitar course. In the first week I felt happy because I was approaching a big part of my dreams. However, after the fifth week, I was fully depressed, due to the fact, my progress in all activities were awful. We should put appropriate time and energy for each activity till our efforts bring the fruits. Second, there is no cherished skill that could be easily adapted by humans. We should have persistence and fail many times to learn something. For instance, when I started to play guitar a few years ago, a friend of mine started at the same time. We had the same tutor and similar guitar. However, I could not develop my ability to play well because of insufficient training, he practiced every day for 2 hours. As a result he is a renowned guitar player, which plays in a rock band. Finally, our brain and our body need to conform themselves based on the condition. To illustrate, If you choose intense sports as your regular practice, then your brains and body could not create a harmony to carry out a soft and emotional activity; for instance, making handcraft. In conclusion, I feel that in an era of abundant resources for learning, it is imperative that people concentrate on a specific skill to achieve proficiency. Because, learning a skill thoroughly needs enough time and also persistence. Moreover, our physical and mental characteristics should be considered too.
Nowadays, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information and facilities, which means we have access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
sources and devices, while we don't have adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for getting familiar with the world around us.
Personally
, I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fail to master a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do a plethora of various things in a short period and
simultaneously
. I feel this way for three chief reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

First
, being a master in any field needs persistence. To be more specific, we should train more and more for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
fully
learn an ability.
For example
, last year, I wanted to study
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
language, and I worked 8 hours a day;
in addition
, I registered for a classical guitar course. In the
first
week I felt happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was approaching a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of my dreams.
However
, after the fifth week, I was
fully
depressed, due to the fact, my progress in all activities were awful. We should put appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy for each activity till our efforts bring the fruits.

Second, there is no cherished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
that could be
easily
adapted by humans. We should have persistence and fail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to learn something.
For instance
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to play guitar a few years ago, a friend of mine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. We had the same tutor and similar guitar.
However
, I could not develop my ability to play well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of insufficient training, he practiced every day for 2 hours.
As a result
he is a renowned guitar player, which plays in a rock band.

Finally
, our brain and our body need to conform themselves based on the condition. To illustrate, If you choose intense sports as your regular practice, then your brains and body could not create a harmony to carry out a soft and emotional activity;
for instance
, making handcraft.

In conclusion
, I feel that in an era of abundant resources for learning, it is imperative that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
concentrate on a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
to achieve proficiency.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
thoroughly
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
also
persistence.
Moreover
, our physical and mental characteristics should
be considered
too.
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IELTS essay Because people are busy doing so many different things, they do very few things well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
369 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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