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We can see more disasters and violence shown on television. What are its causes and what effects will they exert on the individuals and the society.

We can see more disasters and violence shown on television. What are its causes and what effects will they exert on the individuals and the society. DpBA
Television plays a vital role in our life because nowadays, it is a source of knowledge as well as entertainment. However, the television shows are displaying more disasters and violence. This essay will discuss the cause behind this phenomenal along with its negative effects on individuals and society. To commence with, there is a key reason why television programmes telecast vulgar stuff. Television channels create a interest between public by showing various disasters and violence because these channels want to increase their television rating point as a result, such channels get more advertisements. In addition, nowadays people are demanding for unique and interesting news. For example, there are some news channels those are providing the detail information of disasters and crimes and it increase interest in the individuals towards the news channels. Hence, these are the causes of showing sensational news on television. However, it has negative impact on the people as well as society. First and foremost is that, when the individuals watch such type of violence news it would provoke to the children and the youngsters to offended crimes. Because they do not familiar with the outcomes of these activities. Secondly, it provide a way to individuals to commit crimes. For instance, a survey was conducted in India it revealed that, the delinquency rate is rising day by day because children are watching vulgar stuff on television, even they are following it in their real life. As a consequence, the number of snatchers, kidnappers and rapists increases. Therefore, these are the effects on the society. To conclude it all, television programme should banned to give the detail information of disasters and violence with the help of animations otherwise, it would be very detrimental for society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
plays a vital role in our life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays, it is a source of knowledge
as well
as entertainment.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are displaying more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
. This essay will discuss the cause behind this phenomenal along with its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and society.

To commence with, there is a key reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
telecast vulgar stuff.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
create
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
interest between public by showing various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
want to increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
rating point
as a result
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more advertisements.
In addition
, nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are demanding for unique and interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
those are providing the detail information of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
and crimes and it
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
.
Hence
, these are the causes of showing sensational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on television.

However
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as well
as society.
First
and foremost is that, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
it would provoke to the children and the youngsters to offended crimes.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they do not familiar with the outcomes of these activities.
Secondly
, it
Did you mean "provides"?
provide
a way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to commit crimes.
For instance
, a survey
was conducted
in India it revealed that, the delinquency rate is rising day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children are watching vulgar stuff on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, even they are following it in their real life. As a consequence, the number of snatchers, kidnappers and rapists increases.
Therefore
, these are the effects on the society.

To conclude
it all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "ban"
banned
to give the detail information of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of animations
otherwise
, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
detrimental for society.
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IELTS essay We can see more disasters and violence shown on television. What are its causes and what effects will they exert on the individuals and the society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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